So first off... good service on Sunday. It was different and good. It was good to see God at work in the midst of our church and the congregation again... its been a while.
So as of late I have been thinking about honesty. What is honesty? And how honest should we be? Most people will tell you they want you to be honest with them, but most of the time that is just not true.
I was reflecting on the last year and many events and realized most people want to hear what they want to hear.... even me. You don't want to hear the truth when you have already formed your opinion. It happened a lot in my church over the past year. People like the pretty picture they have of the church... not a place with flaws. (unfortunately, it is easier to not know what is going on behind the scenes... hopeful that will change).
Honesty is tough.... I love it but it can get out of hand. When honesty is just opinion, you run into trouble. Likewise, if you tell everyone everything it can become a problem.... I guess there are somethings that people are better off not knowing (although in many cases for me that is still up for debate). Often people don't want to hear your opinion (even if it is truth) unless they ask or unless you agree with them (more often the latter). People don't want truth unless it is pretty or doesn't involve them. It is sad but true.
I think throughout life we find ways to excuse not being honest with one another. Yes, it will be awkward and hard to say the truth but ultimately, "the truth shall find you out"... and if the truth is never found... your "skating around the truth" will often come back to kick your ass (or other people's....). Deceit is much easier... for everyone (at least it seems to be true at the time). Deceit = getting out of a tough situation and avoiding any awkwardness/anger. It seems good at the time but usually never works out.
A good example is when my wife asked me if she looks good in a certain outfit. The easy answer is "Yes, honey, you look good in anything" but I don't say that because I hate bull $#!T. So usually I say VERY nicely that it doesn't look great and what I would change. Catie doesn't always like the answer but I know in the long run she appreciated not going in public with a weird outfit (or whatever the case may be). The same goes when a person has something on there face (like food or a booger). Yes, telling them is weird sometimes but it is better than them going the whole day looking dumb.
Unfortunately, I have found Christians do this as more often then people outside of Christianity. A lot of that has to do with the fact that we are trained to be nice and happy and not to say "mean" things to people (which a problem in itself).
#1. Being "happy" and "nice" it not always the correct answer. #2. People do need to hear the truth and sometimes the truth is hard to say... but necessary (you have to use your best judgment when saying hard things to people... I have learned from experience... think and pray before you speak).
A lot of the church stuff over the past year could have been avoided if we were all honest... it wouldn't have fixed everything but it would have made the end result a lot easier. If the congregation wouldn't have been deceived, if the staff would have been completely honest with each other... things would have been a lot different. It would have been harder at the time but the end result would have felt better (at least to me :)
Likewise, in a lot of the other situations where I have avoided the awkward conversation at the time to save my own butt... that comes back to haunt me. I either get more stressed about it over time or somehow the person that I should have told the truth to earlier find out the hard way what I should have told them long ago.
The Bible speaks a lot on honesty and how important it is but it also speaks on the power of the tongue.... so speak wisely. Prayer and wisdom is the key.
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