Monday, July 28, 2008

Arggg... crap....

Ok that is just how I feel about every Monday.... I am in countdown mode until I need another job (also I have a busy weekend this week). I am going to Chicago for a creative/arts conference (Thursday and Friday) and then leaving early with my friend (Matt) to come back and film a wedding on Saturday.... it is going to be fun but crazy. I am tired just thinking about it.

I need to just hand God my week... in fact I think I will do that right now.

I just stress to much.... I am pretty laid back on the outside... I am not faking that I am happy at the moment (because most of the time I am happy) but just deep down inside I am a worrier.... and I hate that. I always have been. I remember being a little kids and freaking out when my parents were 10 minutes later home than what they said. My mom is a worrier too... my dad always said I got it from her.... but I know is has a lot of stress he internalizes too.

The other problem with stress is it makes me sick (I have IBS and stress makes that worse). (Just a side note... research show that the best treatment for IBS is counseling.... crazy huh... )
And then to top it off I tend to grind my teeth at night when I am really stress. And before ( a few years ago I would get heart palpitations from being stressed). I literally fall apart because I stress to much.We aren't design to be stressed all the time... our bodies break down.

That is what I really need to work on... I know it. Catie knows it... sometimes I just "freak out" and stress about nothing.

Like this job.... I am confident I can get a job..... pretty confident at least... But I still worry all the time. Some of my favorite verses are Matt 6:25-34 I love it because that is the truth... God cares about us more than anything else. He will take care of us... I just have to trust that... I have seen it done in my life over and over again... I just have had to read that verse over and over to remember sometimes.

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