Rolling with the waves

So yesterday I played hockey and was really frustrated for some reason. I know I am very stressed right now but I didn't have a bad day or anything... in fact it wasn't too bad at all. But last night at hockey emotions ran high and my really good friend and I were totally jawing and actually getting really mad at each other. It was quite abnormal for our weekly games. I thought he was wining too much but I was being a real ass to him as well. So we verbally rumbled... then I felt like an ass and apologized... and so did he. He is my really close friend so when we rumble (usually in sports... maybe once every year) I always realize just how dumb the whole thing was after the fact. Anyways, it was stupid by me.

There was a question he did ask me while we were arguing that almost made be stop and tell him the truth. He asked (while we were arguing) "What is up with you today?" (or something very close to that). And for a moment in my head and deep down I thought.... " I am really really stressed out about life right now... I am just really scared and tired and feel a lot of pressure from 100 different angles" but of course because I was mad at the time so I did the "manly thing" and just said "Nothing's wrong" (which of course wasn't true).

So that is over now and I had a pretty productive day today. I am nervous because yesterday I found out I am having a job interview at River City Studios in GR and I am excited but feel the pressure to make a decent amount of money and have fun at the same time. I guess I just have to trust God. I think that is usually my problem with my attitude so much of it depends on how much time I am spending in the word and in prayer. I am been very often talking to go and just saying "I give this day today you God.... for you are in control of my life".... I say that (or something like that) many mornings but a lot of time that seems to be my only real God time. Usually I just allow my life to sweep me away with the daily waves we come upon in life. 

That is why I titled this blog Rolling with the waves... I want to be swept through life right now... only I don't want me and my schedule to be the thing sweeping me through life. I need to be swept away by God. I know that sounds a bit cliche BUT really I feel like a lot of my life is me trying to swim against the giant waves of life. And I am just getting hit over and over and over again. And I feel like I have been treading water for days or even years just to stay afloat in life's crazy current. I need to just float and trust that God will lead me where I need to be. Because I can't stay afloat much longer... and it is not even a financial thing as much as it is a personal thing that I need for myself and my family and my relationship with God.

So God I need you to sweep me up and roll me in your waves. I know you are in control of where I am going. Help me to know that. You know how much money I need... you always have known. 

On a side note my computer is broken again and I have an older mac book pro... it is sweet. The keyboard is buttery smooth... I will get a mac next.. for me at least... Catie is not convinced. 

That was until I tried to "apple paste" and it didn't work. I dont like that about this mac