typing

oh God I need you.... I feel like I am drowning. I need to catch my breath. I need your breath... your air to free me. I am so tired of the 6 month cycle of uncertainty. I am tired of worrying about bills and not saving.

You are my source.... I don't know that I always make you my source but you wait patiently for me. Waiting and watching. Waiting for me to come running to you. You just wait. As I spin around and around and around..... making myself sick for no reason. You alone hold the answers and direction to my life. I thank you for that, God.

So just speak into my life. Let me allow you to become a part of who I am daily. I need you to guide my path because right now I am lost. My path is dark and I don't know which path to follow. God, you alone..... You alone are my source. I thank you for being willing to sit and watch me and still except me when I try to do everything on my own.

I thank you for the hard times. The hard time that have lead me closer to you. I thank you for what you have shown me through the last 3 years.

It has been tough... the last 3 years have seemed like 10 years... from my family crumbling apart, to having a son, finishing school and then having 2 more kids... life has been crazy and tiring.... and just like always... I don't think I make my life easier all the time. I thank you for those hard times though. I thank you for the wisdom and experience I have gained from everything. I thank you for the dark chapters in my life. Honestly, they suck and I don't enjoy them... but you use all things for good... I draw closer to you because of those hard times. They have given me such a passion to know you and follow you.... I make me NEED to know who you actually are. And I love you more because of it. Thank you God.

may I just find a plce of rest in you. May I take the time to find rest in you... real rest God. I just thank you for my family, friends and everything else that I have been so vastly blessed with. You have given me a lifetime of wealth.... let me be statsified with that wealth... it is not about financial wealth... help me to truly know that in my spirit. You give me everything I need.... you are everything I need.

I thank you for the beauty of the day. The new day you bring. I thank you for growing kids... and my awesome wife... and that they are healthy... you have given me so much. You are beautiful Lord

Thank you