So Catie and I have had some discussion over the weekend and possible discovered an area that I am interested in that is also related to my field.
It is electric and audio installation.... I know someone around the area that is in that field and am hoping to get an apprenticeship with them (or another company like them). I am going to talk to Michigan Works about it sometime this week. The usually have insight into what places are good to go to and what places are not... and sometimes they know the right people to talk to as well. I am hoping this is something I can do... and soon... spring is coming and often times that brings more work for people in trade jobs. The nice thing would be if I could to both electrical and sound installation... that would be sweet... and I would be learning something new but still related to my field. So we will see... there would be people I would be working with so that would be nice too.
I did have a second interview at Request Foods... I got to see around the factory and hear about possible jobs there. They are pretty nice people there.. they guy who interviewed me was nice. But after the tour of the place I thought.... "wow, I would hate this job... most likely I would hate most every day." Now not that it looks like a place that is full of bad people is it just really loud all the time... which in turn means you don't talk to people... you most of the time sit with ear plugs in and do your job on the machine. I think when I worked at other factory jobs the saving grace was being able to talk to people. That is what kept me motivated and able to come back to work.... smelly food, and isolation are not very appealing to me. That being said... this maybe the only option for now... they do have good benefits... so that is good at least... and it is a Christian business, so that is good too. But other than that I thought..... "I need to find something else to do NOW!'
So I hope I can get an apprenticeship somewhere! Be praying for that. I think I would like it.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Apparently, once a week is all i want to do right now. Blogging seems to be work at times... but I also think it can be good for me too.
Well nothing much new in the life of Josh right now. I have been still looking for work and sending out apps, and just working at Menards @ 6am-10am and then on Saturdays when I can... working 6 days a weeks is not much fun... even if it is for only a few hours a day most of the week. You just see the place too much it seems... but really it isn't that bad. I don't mind it.
The rest of life is mostly just the same old same old. The kids are growing up quickly, Jude stands on his own now (when he wants) and Noelan is really close to being potty trained (yesterday he just went into the bathroom and went poop in the toilet.... yet today he poop in his diaper... so who knows). Catie is working 32 hrs a week and she wants to see the kids more.
The sad thing about Catie and my work is that we are working in the range of 50-60 hours a week at above minimum wage and we are not even close to being ok financially.... so my conclusion...minimum wage is not very possible to live off of.... I can't imagine single parents trying to do it.... crazy.
hmmmmmm.... what else..... we have new sound people that Steve and I trained at church... one guy is already ready to go!
I haven't been pursuing God like I need to... or really at all... not a good idea. I need to pursue but I am tired of the rat race of life.... never ending running.... never quite drowning but never quite swimming... and pursuing takes time and energy... something that I am really low on right now. (maybe not a good excuse but it is how I am feeling).
I have been thinking a lot about what I would like to do... and I still don't really know. I know I want to help people in some way. I know I need to be with people, they give me energy... most of the time. And really that is all I know. I keep wondering if I should go and try to do church work of somekind but I am just not excited about that at this very moment. I kind of want to work at a church but really I kind of don't at the same time.
So that is all for now. I just really wish I had an idea of where I am going in life or where I want to head and I would also not mind having a job right now :)
Well nothing much new in the life of Josh right now. I have been still looking for work and sending out apps, and just working at Menards @ 6am-10am and then on Saturdays when I can... working 6 days a weeks is not much fun... even if it is for only a few hours a day most of the week. You just see the place too much it seems... but really it isn't that bad. I don't mind it.
The rest of life is mostly just the same old same old. The kids are growing up quickly, Jude stands on his own now (when he wants) and Noelan is really close to being potty trained (yesterday he just went into the bathroom and went poop in the toilet.... yet today he poop in his diaper... so who knows). Catie is working 32 hrs a week and she wants to see the kids more.
The sad thing about Catie and my work is that we are working in the range of 50-60 hours a week at above minimum wage and we are not even close to being ok financially.... so my conclusion...minimum wage is not very possible to live off of.... I can't imagine single parents trying to do it.... crazy.
hmmmmmm.... what else..... we have new sound people that Steve and I trained at church... one guy is already ready to go!
I haven't been pursuing God like I need to... or really at all... not a good idea. I need to pursue but I am tired of the rat race of life.... never ending running.... never quite drowning but never quite swimming... and pursuing takes time and energy... something that I am really low on right now. (maybe not a good excuse but it is how I am feeling).
I have been thinking a lot about what I would like to do... and I still don't really know. I know I want to help people in some way. I know I need to be with people, they give me energy... most of the time. And really that is all I know. I keep wondering if I should go and try to do church work of somekind but I am just not excited about that at this very moment. I kind of want to work at a church but really I kind of don't at the same time.
So that is all for now. I just really wish I had an idea of where I am going in life or where I want to head and I would also not mind having a job right now :)
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Hmmmm...
Well it has been a while again. I just haven't felt like taking the time to post... it takes to much work and thought... or so it seems. I haven't really been doing any "self searching" lately or nothing big so I just don't feel like writing. I am rally frustrated about life so my blog just seems to be a place to talk about it but I don't fee like writing about being frustrated any more... i don't really feel like doing any thing much anymore. I just don't care. Really about anything. I am a little bit nervous that I am growing more depressed or something because I am isolating myself more than before... Before I always wanted to be with people and now, I just don't care to make the effort to do anything do go anywhere, to talk to people. Nothing seems to matter. Nothing seems to work... I just don't feel like fighting anymore... (we are always fighting for something in life) Catie and I have been fighting stuff (not just each other) ever since we got married and before. I just feel like we can't win..... this month we will not be paying our mortgage for the first time... that sucks. We have both been working more but still don't have enough to make it work (like eating (which we can do) and/or paying our mortgage). We will try to pay some... but we dont have enough for sure....
Life is ok. I don't feel massively depressed... it do feel angry a good amount of the time. The bottom line is that life is just shitty. I am tired.... of everything, of everyone... of putting out a bunch of effort for little to no results. It just makes me not care... I know my attitude is much different. i know i have very little drive for anything (but seriously what am I driving for). I have no idea what I want to do. I just don't want to take the effort to do things....I can tell I am acting different, I don't even call people back all the time or answer my phone. I don't even feel like praying or making that effort... I am tired and I just don't think much matters right now. Honestly, I know it sounds bad. I wish that wasn't the case... it just is.
Hopefully, things will be looking better sometime soon
Life is ok. I don't feel massively depressed... it do feel angry a good amount of the time. The bottom line is that life is just shitty. I am tired.... of everything, of everyone... of putting out a bunch of effort for little to no results. It just makes me not care... I know my attitude is much different. i know i have very little drive for anything (but seriously what am I driving for). I have no idea what I want to do. I just don't want to take the effort to do things....I can tell I am acting different, I don't even call people back all the time or answer my phone. I don't even feel like praying or making that effort... I am tired and I just don't think much matters right now. Honestly, I know it sounds bad. I wish that wasn't the case... it just is.
Hopefully, things will be looking better sometime soon
Monday, March 2, 2009
Time off
So I decided I need to take a bit of time off from writing. Catie and I have been going through a kind of rough stretch and I just needed to re-evaluate some stuff in life. I had been taking time to vent my feelings online more than talking to her so I decided it would be good to stop for a while... well 2 weeks about (which is a while for me).
So life has been rough the last little bit.... I really need a job for me to be sane and so we can pay our mortgage... which might not happen on time this month. We got our taxes back and paid off other debt and bills but miscalculated on our mortgage payment... I guess it is good that we did pay off other stuff but the idea of not being able to pay for our house doesn't feel very good (and is not how we would have done it). (we had less than $50 to our name this weekend... but I think we are getting a tiny bit of money back from an insurance refund... not much... but some). So $50 is not a lot of money to live on... it is extremely uncomfortable... but Catie and I are trusting God that he will provide. Catie is working a few more hours this week and I am trying to work as many Saturdays at Menards as possible (I got to work this past weekend and hopefully this one too).
We also had to spend $75 in gas (plus food $) going down to Catie's grandma's funeral. Fortunately it wasn't the grandma that Catie is really close to... if that happened during this time, life would have been even more stressful for us.
Although spending the money in gas and food wasn't good talking in the car and spending time with Catie was really good for us. It was nice to be stuck in a car together. We were able to really talk and just spend some quality time together (the kids slept a lot in the car). So I really enjoyed that and so did Catie.
Sunday Catie and I were arguing about something money related (like not having it) and she said she didn't want to go to church. Noelen did the most awesome thing. He completely calmed the situation down. He went and talked to Catie and said, "Don't cry mom. We are family and we need to go to church together." Then apparently he came looking for me to try and talk to me too but I was in the bathroom. I just realize how sweet he can be.... it just makes all the screaming fighting times with him more worth it... to see how sweet he is. Noelen is either a really intense stinker (like right now when we told me he wanted something to eat and I said, "hang on" and then I busted him with a bag of cookies he took off the counter.. downstairs... hiding in a laundry basket)... or really sweet and loving (like the first example).... two polar opposites.
Anyways, Catie and I are just realizing how little we can do without God... we are also realizing that are relationships with God are really lacking in a lot of areas... areas that need to be stregthened in order to be in a healthy relationship with God... not just a casual relationship. So hard times are teaching us a lot about each other, ourselves and our relationship with God.
So life has been rough the last little bit.... I really need a job for me to be sane and so we can pay our mortgage... which might not happen on time this month. We got our taxes back and paid off other debt and bills but miscalculated on our mortgage payment... I guess it is good that we did pay off other stuff but the idea of not being able to pay for our house doesn't feel very good (and is not how we would have done it). (we had less than $50 to our name this weekend... but I think we are getting a tiny bit of money back from an insurance refund... not much... but some). So $50 is not a lot of money to live on... it is extremely uncomfortable... but Catie and I are trusting God that he will provide. Catie is working a few more hours this week and I am trying to work as many Saturdays at Menards as possible (I got to work this past weekend and hopefully this one too).
We also had to spend $75 in gas (plus food $) going down to Catie's grandma's funeral. Fortunately it wasn't the grandma that Catie is really close to... if that happened during this time, life would have been even more stressful for us.
Although spending the money in gas and food wasn't good talking in the car and spending time with Catie was really good for us. It was nice to be stuck in a car together. We were able to really talk and just spend some quality time together (the kids slept a lot in the car). So I really enjoyed that and so did Catie.
Sunday Catie and I were arguing about something money related (like not having it) and she said she didn't want to go to church. Noelen did the most awesome thing. He completely calmed the situation down. He went and talked to Catie and said, "Don't cry mom. We are family and we need to go to church together." Then apparently he came looking for me to try and talk to me too but I was in the bathroom. I just realize how sweet he can be.... it just makes all the screaming fighting times with him more worth it... to see how sweet he is. Noelen is either a really intense stinker (like right now when we told me he wanted something to eat and I said, "hang on" and then I busted him with a bag of cookies he took off the counter.. downstairs... hiding in a laundry basket)... or really sweet and loving (like the first example).... two polar opposites.
Anyways, Catie and I are just realizing how little we can do without God... we are also realizing that are relationships with God are really lacking in a lot of areas... areas that need to be stregthened in order to be in a healthy relationship with God... not just a casual relationship. So hard times are teaching us a lot about each other, ourselves and our relationship with God.
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