So people are funny. I just think that people watching is fun. I was at work this morning and I just found myself laughing at how quirky people are... it's just funny. I am sure if someone watched me they would think I was funny too (so I am not making fun of anyone). There is one lady in particular that is always kind of high strung. She make me laugh because literally almost everyday she rushes around the entire store, in a paranoid fashion, looking frantically for he little white ladder and most of the time it is an aisle over from where she started..... it is funny because she asks every person she sees if they have seen her ladder.... I don't know I guess you just have to be there.
I always hate going back too the weekdays..... the weekends are so nice. Not that I hate going to Menards... I just feel like I can relax for just a minute and not worry about a job or really anything on the weekends. When I am at home I think about a job almost every minute.... it seems. I just don't know why I can't find anything. Catie and I have to be pushing close to 60 resumes and applications sent out by now. And I am sending apps for almost anything that is out there. Its a bad time to have been cut from a job... but that is probably what everyone who got laid-off thinks...
So I have been thinking that I still want to be in ministry I just don't know where I fit of if I will ever fit.... I do know I need to work out some stuff personally. This job thing (and my life in general) has really tested my faith and patience (and I have failed my times). I am trying to figure out if I just want to steer clear of ministry and make money for now. I just want a regular job that would be nice. There is a [art of me that wonders if I should be applying for youth pastor positions.... I am not sure that is what I am called to do but I really have enjoyed the teens lately (a lot more than the last few years) And that would be "working towards what I want to do later in life".... at least I think it would. But I don't know if I could do that. I don't know that I could grow a youth ministry.... and youth pastors don't make much.... but I would be in minstry and I would begin to work towards doing other minstry that way. I don't know... I am just thinking out loud.
So I don't know what to do but what I do know is the longer I am away from doing ministry stuff the more I want to do it. I would love to just pour myself into church but I have 3 kids under 3 at home and a house that needs major work so I am not exactly in a position to do a lot without it being my job. I am heard the "you can volunteer anytime" from people and I think.... "I know, why don't you just volunteer instead of working at a church"..... because you (like me) feel a bigger calling to people and ministry that can't be done in a few hours.
So I don't know. I don't think Catie is excited about me in minstry which doesn't help. I mentioned it to her about the youth thing and she rolled her eyes.... but I don't want to be a car salesman either....
2 comments:
Josh, I dont know what God has in store for you, But ia m pretty sure it wouldnt invlove you comprimising your values with the recording thing and filling you head and ears with questionable literature. I really feel like he wants you to rest in him and trust that he knows what is best. I know that is NOT what you want to hear. It is also a hell if a place to be, but on the other side you will be much better off waiting than jumping into something just for the bucks and to make things easier. I hope you know I pry for your family every day and for you to get the job of your dream cuz I know God will give us more than we can ever imagine. He has great things in store for you. You are a good man and a great father. He wont let you down.
thanks. And so far I don't to worry about any compromises because I haven't got a call back so... right now it doesn't matter.
Thanks for your prayers. I have been more at peace lately... not always but a little more at peace
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