Need to blog more

I need to blog more. it helps me think clearer.... but sometimes I have trouble blogging. I try to think about what to blog and if it is interesting or not but I need to remember. I have to blog for me.

So lately I have been stressed. I couldn't figure out why but if I blog it usually works
1. I haven't spent time with God which always makes me more stressed out... yesterday I didn't even go into Menards and still at the end of the day I was thinking... I kind of feel like crying for no real reason (that is when I know I am tired and stressed).
2. I don't want to go to work. I want to stay home for a week but I have a lot to do at church and my computer isn't fast enough (I also could probably use a bit better time management)
3. Church stuff is still being so..... crappy. Pastor Paul preached on Sunday and it was really good. And then I had a 2 hour discussion with him on Tuesday that was great BUT now a new thing has been thrown into the mix to make people pissed off... this is so dumb.
4. My wife is mad at me literally everyday. She is SUPER pregnant and is really hurting so she is just pissed all the time. I can't blame her BUT I try and avoid her too. This of course makes her more mad and she tries to get me to stay home all the time... I on the other hand try to leave all the time... to avoid more conflict... (although, lately I have been leaving when I don't always want too). So home isn't so much of a relief spot right now.
5. I often find myself wondering where my life is leading me if anywhere. I want a real job... at least I think so... sometimes. I wonder why I am at Menards... stocking shelves... I wonder why God has me there... or if I am supposed to be somewhere different.
6. To top it off this month I have a lot of video projects. I am helping Dave with a senior video this week..... for Sunday.... and I feel like I should do more of the editing to ease Dave of some stress.... I also have to resend a video out to a guy in Cali that was supposed to be done a lot time ago. I also have a Wing of Mercy project that I need to film. And later this month I need to film 5 people for a video sermon for the 29th.


I am tired. I want a vacation. I want that baby to be born. I want relief from stress.... a time to decompress. I want the church thing to level off.... to be DONE. I want people to COMMUNICATE. I want to follow God's leading on my life and spend more time with Him. I am spent..... and frustrated. And just tired of crap.