So I wasn't going to be able to blog about this until after this Sunday but because someone mailed out some letters a bit early it no longer matters...
It has been announced... Pastor Paul is not returning. I think even for me it is a bit weird and I had a pretty good idea of what was going on. But I think it is good. I am sad but excited. Many more changes will be happening at church and I think that it will be a good thing. Hopefully most people will take the news well. I know there were some devout Paul followers out there counting the days until his return (which in my opinion is a problem by itself) but whatever works I guess. But there were also people who were hoping that he would not return.... and then there was what I am guessing is the majority, the people who didn't really care too much either way.
It will be a bit weird though. Lakeshore Vineyard... no longer "Paul's church" as so many called it. Crazy times. Who would have guessed that in a year Jared and Paul would leave.... I didn't see that one coming BUT I think it is good... for everyone.
Jared leaving was a bit more of a surprise.... to everyone... me, the whole staff, the church... and I think himself. For months and months we tried to figure out how to mix where the church was going with what Jared had on his heart but Jared's message didn't really mix because it was a very specific direction (more than just a series or a mission statement). But his messages did impact a lot of people. Honestly, Jared needed to do his ministry, his way and I think he would say that. He has a clear and direct path and was unwilling to waver in any other direction than the one that he had found He had a specific message (and how to present that message properly) and he wasn't willing to budge. But I can respect that.
Paul is a bit of a different story. Paul was tired. He had been tired for years... he was burning the candle at both ends for a long time. Also he was having a hard time really finding a direction for the church... the church was shrinking and didn't have momentum. We just were spinning our wheels with no real direction. So after a while of thinking Paul and the church board decided it might be a good idea for Paul (and Tammy)to take a break and re-evaluate what they needed and wanted to do in ministry. It would be good for the church and good for both of them. So Paul went to California and taught at a seminary and Tammy got a teaching job. They lived in a trailer but life was more simple (for the most part) and they got refreshed in a lot of ways. So after 6 months Paul sent a letter saying he was returning to the church... that was good except that he forgot to ask the board and the pastoral staff what how they were feeling about the church and the direction at the time. It was always known that Paul could return but also known that he might not return... so those guys (and a few gals) had some pow wows and discussed what was happening (and the rest I do not know because I wasn't at the pow wow). And that lead us to now... after much consideration Paul had decided to go. And so you all know he did NOT leave knowing that he wasn't coming back... as far as I know (like he said) he was planning on returning but God had other plans (apparently).
So our church is being pruned in a way.... not that either of those to guys were bad people or that they were ineffective in there ministries at the church... I guess God just decided the church needed a change and that they needed a change too... that at this time at Lakeshore Vineyard things need to be different in a major way, apparently. A new season. Jared and Paul and LVC were not thriving as a unit. They did at one time but people change and God lead us in different directions. Now, I am sure if some people just read what I wrote they would be upset but that is the truth of it. Sometimes God prunes away people and things that we love and think we need, to make us (or in this case the church) stronger and more healthy (and you know what it might hurt a bit) . Again, I am not saying either Jared or Paul were "bad apples" they both just needed a new ministry opportunity to be as effective as they can be (the same is true of the church).
And you know what? I believe we, as a church, can be as effective as we have ever been as a church in the coming year. And I think Paul and Jared will feel the same way...
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
Dive in
Just sitting listening to a little Alexi Murdoch.... all the kids are in bed and Catie is out with a friend... a little quiet for a few minutes. I thought I never needed any time to myself (because as an extrovert, I energize from being with people, but I need a little time to just breath. Anyways here we go...
So I am learning in ministry and in life that I can not solve the worlds problems and likewise I can not solve the problems of all of the people I care about or come in contact with. I know I can pray for them and talk to them but as a guy I am a "solver". If there are problems they need to be fixed. And in theory most problems aren't too complicated... if people could take a look from the outside it wouldn't be too hard... but the key word here is "in theory".
The problem I keep running into is that most problems tend to involve people... and people are hard... they have things like different ideas, stubborn personalities, different ways of expressing themselves, and most of all, people are emotional and have trouble stepping back and looking at themselves. Even a brilliant guy as myself sometimes has trouble stepping back when in tough situations... :)
If only everyone who was facing a problem could see what the situation looks like from outside their perspective... but there is the problem again, people have there own opinions and ideas. Now, I love different opinions and ideas (to a certain extent of course) but I have realized recently that people rarely attempt to see the other side of the story (when they are faced with a tough situation).
So lately, I have been encountering a lot of awesome people, but they are all struggling with situations that they need to face. It just seems that many of them don't see that they need to deal with certain issues. Or if they do realize they need to deal with things, they are just to stubborn or scared to make the move. The problem is they don't realize who they are affecting... not just themselves but friends, family and anyone who cares about them... but they are to selfish and blind to realize.
And I just stand there on the sidelines screaming inside "HEY! HEY, BUDDY JUST STEP BACK AND LOOK AT WHAT YOU ARE DOING. LOOK AT WHO YOU ARE AFFECTING... YOUR FAMILY, YOUR FRIENDS.... EVERYONE AROUND YOU! THE PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT THE MOST YOU ARE HURTING... LET ALONE THE AFFECT YOU ARE HAVING ON YOURSELF"
But I am realizing that people are human and they have flaws and fears and sin that holds them... correction..... that holds all of us back from doing what we need to do. I do it a lot too. I just am realizing that people do not deal with things very easily... at least not very often.
And you know what?... the step they need to take is right in front of them. It may seem scary but really its not to bad. It is so close and seemingly so simple but they (I) just miss it sometimes...
Its like diving off the diving board for the first time (at least for me). It seems so high up. And I have a few hestitations...... I mean, I do have to go in head first... and that could hurt... it could hurt my head or neck on the water... I could dive wrong and do a belly flop.... I could do a face flop....other people watching could laugh.... in fact I could slip on the diving board as I am walking on it and hit my head, then fall into the water and then of course, I would drown.
Now, looking back at these thoughts, they seem... funny and the last one about dying is nearly impossible when you are diving in for or your swimming instructor. But, never the less, it took a big push to get me to jump... to take the risk... my swimming instructor paid me a dollar to dive in. I then decided it was worth the risk and jumped in... And the more I dove after that.. the easier it became. I did have a few belly flops but that was ok because I also had a lot of successful dives. But you don't see that until you do it. Until you step off the edge and dive in.
But you know what else I have realized lately... I don't have a problem dealing with emotions. I am always confused when people say "Guys don't talk about emotions"... I always have. I have noticed it makes things a lot easier... it really isn't that hard. Trust me. It is worth it... most of the time people want to know what you are feeling...
I just pray that t my friends talk to the right people. That they "man up" to what is going on with them. That they examine themselves and stop thinking about what they want.
My goal for this season of my life is to remember to step back.... it is tough. It is always easier to solve the problems of others rather then dealing with your own issues... I know all too well.
So I am learning in ministry and in life that I can not solve the worlds problems and likewise I can not solve the problems of all of the people I care about or come in contact with. I know I can pray for them and talk to them but as a guy I am a "solver". If there are problems they need to be fixed. And in theory most problems aren't too complicated... if people could take a look from the outside it wouldn't be too hard... but the key word here is "in theory".
The problem I keep running into is that most problems tend to involve people... and people are hard... they have things like different ideas, stubborn personalities, different ways of expressing themselves, and most of all, people are emotional and have trouble stepping back and looking at themselves. Even a brilliant guy as myself sometimes has trouble stepping back when in tough situations... :)
If only everyone who was facing a problem could see what the situation looks like from outside their perspective... but there is the problem again, people have there own opinions and ideas. Now, I love different opinions and ideas (to a certain extent of course) but I have realized recently that people rarely attempt to see the other side of the story (when they are faced with a tough situation).
So lately, I have been encountering a lot of awesome people, but they are all struggling with situations that they need to face. It just seems that many of them don't see that they need to deal with certain issues. Or if they do realize they need to deal with things, they are just to stubborn or scared to make the move. The problem is they don't realize who they are affecting... not just themselves but friends, family and anyone who cares about them... but they are to selfish and blind to realize.
And I just stand there on the sidelines screaming inside "HEY! HEY, BUDDY JUST STEP BACK AND LOOK AT WHAT YOU ARE DOING. LOOK AT WHO YOU ARE AFFECTING... YOUR FAMILY, YOUR FRIENDS.... EVERYONE AROUND YOU! THE PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT THE MOST YOU ARE HURTING... LET ALONE THE AFFECT YOU ARE HAVING ON YOURSELF"
But I am realizing that people are human and they have flaws and fears and sin that holds them... correction..... that holds all of us back from doing what we need to do. I do it a lot too. I just am realizing that people do not deal with things very easily... at least not very often.
And you know what?... the step they need to take is right in front of them. It may seem scary but really its not to bad. It is so close and seemingly so simple but they (I) just miss it sometimes...
Its like diving off the diving board for the first time (at least for me). It seems so high up. And I have a few hestitations...... I mean, I do have to go in head first... and that could hurt... it could hurt my head or neck on the water... I could dive wrong and do a belly flop.... I could do a face flop....other people watching could laugh.... in fact I could slip on the diving board as I am walking on it and hit my head, then fall into the water and then of course, I would drown.
Now, looking back at these thoughts, they seem... funny and the last one about dying is nearly impossible when you are diving in for or your swimming instructor. But, never the less, it took a big push to get me to jump... to take the risk... my swimming instructor paid me a dollar to dive in. I then decided it was worth the risk and jumped in... And the more I dove after that.. the easier it became. I did have a few belly flops but that was ok because I also had a lot of successful dives. But you don't see that until you do it. Until you step off the edge and dive in.
But you know what else I have realized lately... I don't have a problem dealing with emotions. I am always confused when people say "Guys don't talk about emotions"... I always have. I have noticed it makes things a lot easier... it really isn't that hard. Trust me. It is worth it... most of the time people want to know what you are feeling...
I just pray that t my friends talk to the right people. That they "man up" to what is going on with them. That they examine themselves and stop thinking about what they want.
My goal for this season of my life is to remember to step back.... it is tough. It is always easier to solve the problems of others rather then dealing with your own issues... I know all too well.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
R E S P E C T
I for some reason think I need respect from everyone...
I have just realized lately that I get really defensive when I feel like I am not being respected. I think that is kind of a normal feeling for many people, but for me it really gets to me quickly... a hot button of sorts I guess.
I think it is something I need to work on. I don't like to get really flustered that quickly. Now don't get me wrong I am a passionate and outspoken person so often times that equates to me getting very opinionated about certain subjects. But usually I don't leave the conversation actually mad or very irritated.
More time with God is definitely a needed thing for me right now. I am just having a male PMS time only it is lasting about 2 weeks....
Anyways, I just have a hard time feeling disrespected (even in the slightest) especially at work. It is just hard for me but in reality it is a insecurity for me. Honestly, at times, I doubt myself based on how old I am, how I look, what I did in school, or how much money I make..... this subjects can all make me uncomfortable and defensive.
I just don't want that as part of my life. I don't like to be "snappy and angry" just because I my feel a bit disrespected. It just ultimately doesn't matter that much. I just need to remember that.
I need to remember who I am in Christ and remember that I am respected and loved by a lot of people.
So that is all. I am just looking for a bit of respect and in that respect I need to learn what it mean to respect others.
I have just realized lately that I get really defensive when I feel like I am not being respected. I think that is kind of a normal feeling for many people, but for me it really gets to me quickly... a hot button of sorts I guess.
I think it is something I need to work on. I don't like to get really flustered that quickly. Now don't get me wrong I am a passionate and outspoken person so often times that equates to me getting very opinionated about certain subjects. But usually I don't leave the conversation actually mad or very irritated.
More time with God is definitely a needed thing for me right now. I am just having a male PMS time only it is lasting about 2 weeks....
Anyways, I just have a hard time feeling disrespected (even in the slightest) especially at work. It is just hard for me but in reality it is a insecurity for me. Honestly, at times, I doubt myself based on how old I am, how I look, what I did in school, or how much money I make..... this subjects can all make me uncomfortable and defensive.
I just don't want that as part of my life. I don't like to be "snappy and angry" just because I my feel a bit disrespected. It just ultimately doesn't matter that much. I just need to remember that.
I need to remember who I am in Christ and remember that I am respected and loved by a lot of people.
So that is all. I am just looking for a bit of respect and in that respect I need to learn what it mean to respect others.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Follow Up
Alright, I was going to post this tomorrow BUT I have time to do the follow up of my last blog now.
I was going to go into a different subject about people looking back in life and holding onto the past. But in this case it is people at my church. So here's the scoop.
Our church when it originally started was A LOT more charismatic...... 100x more. So now a lot of people really miss that and want that back... they are tired of being Lakeshore ReVineyardformed Church. They want to be a Vineyard again to be free.... and I agree... I agree 1000%. I want that so bad... I came to a Vineyard I want a Vineyard church... it has turned very Reformed in the past 2 years but I also have a hard time saying I want it to be like it was 8 years ago. I heard one person say that they "Don't remember the last time they saw a person slain in the spirit". (I do... it was at a Fresh Wind.. which by the way are awesome and need to return). But why do we need people to be "slain in the spirit" to show us that God is moving. I don't think it is bad but it isn't necessary.... I can think of a lot of other things that I would like to see (or that would show God moving) before that. I do want the Holy Spirit released in FULL at our church but is it wise to look back and say "I want that... or we need to have that back again".
For me I guess it depends. There is a reality that we as a church are different then back then... much different. There is also a reality that churches change. Personally... I don't want to go back there... there were also a lot of struggles that we have now bypassed since then. I too want some of what we had "back in the day" but I want it to be different. I want people to be aware that it can look different. That we as a congregation can change and that we don't have to look back to our past and say.... now what did we do then that made the spirit move so well. I fear that people will try and recreate what they experienced in the past... that they will want to live in the past. And I just don't think that works... frankly it doesn't work. It is a whole new leadership. Some things that happen will look similar and some might look totally different. I know Dave and I have a desire also that people will open up more and serve the people around them. I believe if you are fully open to the holy spirit in that you will see God in a powerful why too... and you know what? If each day we loved on people around us and were moving in the Holy Spirit and tuned into the Holy Spirit we would see God moving in an even more powerful manner at church. Can you imagine if everyone in the service was tuning into the Holy Spirit on a day to day basis. That would be crazy awesome.
I guess I am just not a big fan of living and hoping life is the same as it was in the past. As I said earlier it is tempting but in many ways not healthy. We need to live in the reality that we are in now. In the churches case, we just need a NEW refreshing of the Holy Spirit... God will meet us where we are in any way that He sees fit as long as we are open to His leading.
So that is what I think....
I was going to go into a different subject about people looking back in life and holding onto the past. But in this case it is people at my church. So here's the scoop.
Our church when it originally started was A LOT more charismatic...... 100x more. So now a lot of people really miss that and want that back... they are tired of being Lakeshore ReVineyardformed Church. They want to be a Vineyard again to be free.... and I agree... I agree 1000%. I want that so bad... I came to a Vineyard I want a Vineyard church... it has turned very Reformed in the past 2 years but I also have a hard time saying I want it to be like it was 8 years ago. I heard one person say that they "Don't remember the last time they saw a person slain in the spirit". (I do... it was at a Fresh Wind.. which by the way are awesome and need to return). But why do we need people to be "slain in the spirit" to show us that God is moving. I don't think it is bad but it isn't necessary.... I can think of a lot of other things that I would like to see (or that would show God moving) before that. I do want the Holy Spirit released in FULL at our church but is it wise to look back and say "I want that... or we need to have that back again".
For me I guess it depends. There is a reality that we as a church are different then back then... much different. There is also a reality that churches change. Personally... I don't want to go back there... there were also a lot of struggles that we have now bypassed since then. I too want some of what we had "back in the day" but I want it to be different. I want people to be aware that it can look different. That we as a congregation can change and that we don't have to look back to our past and say.... now what did we do then that made the spirit move so well. I fear that people will try and recreate what they experienced in the past... that they will want to live in the past. And I just don't think that works... frankly it doesn't work. It is a whole new leadership. Some things that happen will look similar and some might look totally different. I know Dave and I have a desire also that people will open up more and serve the people around them. I believe if you are fully open to the holy spirit in that you will see God in a powerful why too... and you know what? If each day we loved on people around us and were moving in the Holy Spirit and tuned into the Holy Spirit we would see God moving in an even more powerful manner at church. Can you imagine if everyone in the service was tuning into the Holy Spirit on a day to day basis. That would be crazy awesome.
I guess I am just not a big fan of living and hoping life is the same as it was in the past. As I said earlier it is tempting but in many ways not healthy. We need to live in the reality that we are in now. In the churches case, we just need a NEW refreshing of the Holy Spirit... God will meet us where we are in any way that He sees fit as long as we are open to His leading.
So that is what I think....
Holding on to the Past
Music has a funny way of bringing people back to the place and time when they used to listen to a certain song or certain music. It is really weird. I have always believed that music has a much deeper spiritual side that we so often overlook. I really think it has a link to our spiritual life... our spiritual side as humans.
So anyways at work they have changed the normal music played everyday (of oldies and country) to a crazy mix of everything you can possibly think of from the 70's to the 90's from the Beetles to Garth Brooks. So this change in music has been really good. I was really starting to hate the same oldies songs every day (surprisingly the country songs were less annoying because oldies are played from 6am-9am and country is 9am-10am (or at least I leave at 10)). So anyways the songs that people most often connect with life seem to be high school ( at least that is how it is for me). So they are playing a lot of songs from the late 90's that were on the radio when I was a teenager and man does that bring back a lot of emotions and thoughts.
I have found myself just really longing for those times in high school...those times for me were just really fun, for the most part. I was free. Free to do what I wanted, to a certain extent of course... but I really had fun. I had good friends... I could do whatever I wanted. I didn't have to answer to anyone (like my kids or a wife... I did have parents but that is different). I am sure if I went back to that age I wouldn't want to be it again... if for one reason alone, just the fact that kids are... well... stupid at times. But anyways, I just think of late summer nights hanging out with my friend Travis, dating Catie (hanging out on the beach), going to Indiana to see Catie and go to youth group just lots of really relaxing memories. Now one thing I did notice in all of my reminiscing was that all of the memories for the most part were outside things (ok, I have a MASSIVE case of cabin fever this year). But still I find myself... seriously LONGING, for those less stressful times... those... more innocent and honestly, more naive times. My parents were together, I had a seemingly normal family.
Now today, I guess reality has caught up to my family and my friends. My parents recently got a divorce (like a year or 2 ago). My mom is dating someone now and my dad has decided he is gay (that is weird for me to post online... but it is true so that is reality). My best friend Travis is still my good friend and now lives is GR but during college he came out too... My wife Catie and I have 2 1/2 kids, a 2 year old and a 11 month old and one more due in June. So we will have 3 under 3 (ok that change I had a little more to do with than the others). And less than a year ago we bought a house. So all of that plus all the bills are riding on me to pay them. (Now to some people that sound stupid that I complain about all the bills on me but you have to realize that when Catie and I were dating and in college she was a career driven girl... I didn't think she would support me but I figured it would be a shared responsibility... less stress on both and more money of us. I didn't foresee me doing ministry and Menards to make all the ends meet (now that is my choice though and I like it better than other options). But still I never saw this coming in high school or college for that matter.
Now I am not a "planner" personality. I like to fly by the seat of my pants. I always did well in school and I thought that translated into a easier life, at least that is what I was told
(college + working hard and doing well = good money, a good job and an easier life)
The reality is life is stressful... at least right now
Now don't get me wrong I love my family tons and love my friends... but I just didn't see this coming. I didn't see life coming.. my childhood was easy... I guess the hard stuff just hit me late all in a couple of years.
I am just realizing that I am tired. And I sit here and I question if being tired, is just life... that is what life is. That is what my dad said to me... but I just never believed him. I still don't know of I believe him.... if I want to believe him. I being tired and not very happy a lot is a crappy life. My problem is I am trying to learn the reality of being a employee, a husband and I dad and doing fun stuff too. Because sometimes I want to do too much fun and other times I just don't do enough fun. In all of this I am trying to figure out if wanting all that freedom in my past is bad. I Don't know if it is wrong to really miss that; and in a way really want that time in my life back. I know it will never happen and I know that I shouldn't try to live in that past but at times... I sure as heck do miss it.
I miss being able to breath... and enjoy my surroundings... I just don't do that enough now.
So anyways at work they have changed the normal music played everyday (of oldies and country) to a crazy mix of everything you can possibly think of from the 70's to the 90's from the Beetles to Garth Brooks. So this change in music has been really good. I was really starting to hate the same oldies songs every day (surprisingly the country songs were less annoying because oldies are played from 6am-9am and country is 9am-10am (or at least I leave at 10)). So anyways the songs that people most often connect with life seem to be high school ( at least that is how it is for me). So they are playing a lot of songs from the late 90's that were on the radio when I was a teenager and man does that bring back a lot of emotions and thoughts.
I have found myself just really longing for those times in high school...those times for me were just really fun, for the most part. I was free. Free to do what I wanted, to a certain extent of course... but I really had fun. I had good friends... I could do whatever I wanted. I didn't have to answer to anyone (like my kids or a wife... I did have parents but that is different). I am sure if I went back to that age I wouldn't want to be it again... if for one reason alone, just the fact that kids are... well... stupid at times. But anyways, I just think of late summer nights hanging out with my friend Travis, dating Catie (hanging out on the beach), going to Indiana to see Catie and go to youth group just lots of really relaxing memories. Now one thing I did notice in all of my reminiscing was that all of the memories for the most part were outside things (ok, I have a MASSIVE case of cabin fever this year). But still I find myself... seriously LONGING, for those less stressful times... those... more innocent and honestly, more naive times. My parents were together, I had a seemingly normal family.
Now today, I guess reality has caught up to my family and my friends. My parents recently got a divorce (like a year or 2 ago). My mom is dating someone now and my dad has decided he is gay (that is weird for me to post online... but it is true so that is reality). My best friend Travis is still my good friend and now lives is GR but during college he came out too... My wife Catie and I have 2 1/2 kids, a 2 year old and a 11 month old and one more due in June. So we will have 3 under 3 (ok that change I had a little more to do with than the others). And less than a year ago we bought a house. So all of that plus all the bills are riding on me to pay them. (Now to some people that sound stupid that I complain about all the bills on me but you have to realize that when Catie and I were dating and in college she was a career driven girl... I didn't think she would support me but I figured it would be a shared responsibility... less stress on both and more money of us. I didn't foresee me doing ministry and Menards to make all the ends meet (now that is my choice though and I like it better than other options). But still I never saw this coming in high school or college for that matter.
Now I am not a "planner" personality. I like to fly by the seat of my pants. I always did well in school and I thought that translated into a easier life, at least that is what I was told
(college + working hard and doing well = good money, a good job and an easier life)
The reality is life is stressful... at least right now
Now don't get me wrong I love my family tons and love my friends... but I just didn't see this coming. I didn't see life coming.. my childhood was easy... I guess the hard stuff just hit me late all in a couple of years.
I am just realizing that I am tired. And I sit here and I question if being tired, is just life... that is what life is. That is what my dad said to me... but I just never believed him. I still don't know of I believe him.... if I want to believe him. I being tired and not very happy a lot is a crappy life. My problem is I am trying to learn the reality of being a employee, a husband and I dad and doing fun stuff too. Because sometimes I want to do too much fun and other times I just don't do enough fun. In all of this I am trying to figure out if wanting all that freedom in my past is bad. I Don't know if it is wrong to really miss that; and in a way really want that time in my life back. I know it will never happen and I know that I shouldn't try to live in that past but at times... I sure as heck do miss it.
I miss being able to breath... and enjoy my surroundings... I just don't do that enough now.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Frustrated sometimes
So I have just been a bit frustrated lately. I don't know why... I have just had a short fuse lately.
A few days ago I told a kid to "shut up" at my friends house. Now he was being very annoying and everyone was thinking what I said but I should have said, "Dude stop. You are being annoying". That would have been better. I apologized but still it was a bit harsh. And then, today I kind of snapped at a co-worker at Menard's for no real reason. I apologized. She said it was no big deal we all get that way at times... so that was nice but I still feel bad.
I don't know why I have been so stressed and short fused lately. I don't think I am sleeping very well because I am always tired during the day (In fact, I could take a nap right now). But sitll I just don't know what is up with my crappy attitude. I haven't been praying much... that ALWAYS make a big difference. I haven't been exercising a lot which usually makes a difference too. I don't know... hopefully I can figure it out I am sure a lot of it is the combination of a lot of things.
So I will be pondering that until next time!
A few days ago I told a kid to "shut up" at my friends house. Now he was being very annoying and everyone was thinking what I said but I should have said, "Dude stop. You are being annoying". That would have been better. I apologized but still it was a bit harsh. And then, today I kind of snapped at a co-worker at Menard's for no real reason. I apologized. She said it was no big deal we all get that way at times... so that was nice but I still feel bad.
I don't know why I have been so stressed and short fused lately. I don't think I am sleeping very well because I am always tired during the day (In fact, I could take a nap right now). But sitll I just don't know what is up with my crappy attitude. I haven't been praying much... that ALWAYS make a big difference. I haven't been exercising a lot which usually makes a difference too. I don't know... hopefully I can figure it out I am sure a lot of it is the combination of a lot of things.
So I will be pondering that until next time!
Saturday, March 1, 2008
a long time coming
So it has been a while. Over a month. The two people who used to read my blog now will never read it again because they think I stopped writing. Well, the truth is I haven't stopped writing BUT I still love to write... my computer was just broken for a while and I don't ever write at work so I just didn't write.
So today I will write about...hmmmm... what has been happening in the past month I guess.
So in February I found out I am having another boy (yeah!) and that the due date is like 2 weeks sooner than expected (June 7th instead of June 23rd). So that is exciting.... the baby could be here even in May cause Catie is usually early.
Ummmm, what else? Church is going well. I am really enjoying it. The team we have together now seems to be clicking and moving (as a team) which I have not seen until now (3 years or more of being around the office). I still don't know what's happening with P. Paul but I know something is.. I am just out of the loop for now... which is ok for me... I guess... :) But I do like to know what going on but it is good for me. My teams will be coming together... soon I hope... I will make them come together soon! I just feel like we are actually moving somewhere as a church.... it is nice. There are still a lot of changes on the horizon I am sure but I think it is ok. I have to admit I was a little nervous for while.... I still am about some things but I just really learned that God IS in control. Ken has forced me to be patient, which has been frustrating, but great. Ken would just say to me, "Hey, I want to do something about certain things too (whether it be certain people or issues) but God told me to wait. I don't want to wait but God very specifically told me to wait." So Ken waited and so did everybody else. And you know what? Everything has worked out better than what I could have ever imagined. I actually respect Ken a lot more for that... because I can see that he is listening to God... and I want to follow people that are listening to God more than I want to follow anything else. Now, Ken and I don't always see eye to eye but it is ok for me because I think I can trust him.
Now on a completely different note this month....
I have been sick for 2 1/2 weeks so I am going stir crazy!!! Please come soon spring!
Yeah, 2 weeks ago I was running a fever of 102-103 for about 3 1/2 days; it sucked. Then I went to the doctor and I had a sinus infection (which I had a lot as a kids but never a fever like that!) Then a weeks later my stomach wasn't feeling good because of sinus drainage so I didn't eat and was still taking my antibiotic. So then on this past Sunday I hadn't eaten anything for a day so, I felt sick and was yacking on Sunday night :(. Then I forced myself to eat something and felt better (medicine on an empty stomach, is bad). So that was the past two weeks.
Today my mother-in-law is coming over so is taking us to Red Lobster... I want to eat lobster. Yum Yum!
that is all for now, nothing big but have no fear I am back and typing :)
So today I will write about...hmmmm... what has been happening in the past month I guess.
So in February I found out I am having another boy (yeah!) and that the due date is like 2 weeks sooner than expected (June 7th instead of June 23rd). So that is exciting.... the baby could be here even in May cause Catie is usually early.
Ummmm, what else? Church is going well. I am really enjoying it. The team we have together now seems to be clicking and moving (as a team) which I have not seen until now (3 years or more of being around the office). I still don't know what's happening with P. Paul but I know something is.. I am just out of the loop for now... which is ok for me... I guess... :) But I do like to know what going on but it is good for me. My teams will be coming together... soon I hope... I will make them come together soon! I just feel like we are actually moving somewhere as a church.... it is nice. There are still a lot of changes on the horizon I am sure but I think it is ok. I have to admit I was a little nervous for while.... I still am about some things but I just really learned that God IS in control. Ken has forced me to be patient, which has been frustrating, but great. Ken would just say to me, "Hey, I want to do something about certain things too (whether it be certain people or issues) but God told me to wait. I don't want to wait but God very specifically told me to wait." So Ken waited and so did everybody else. And you know what? Everything has worked out better than what I could have ever imagined. I actually respect Ken a lot more for that... because I can see that he is listening to God... and I want to follow people that are listening to God more than I want to follow anything else. Now, Ken and I don't always see eye to eye but it is ok for me because I think I can trust him.
Now on a completely different note this month....
I have been sick for 2 1/2 weeks so I am going stir crazy!!! Please come soon spring!
Yeah, 2 weeks ago I was running a fever of 102-103 for about 3 1/2 days; it sucked. Then I went to the doctor and I had a sinus infection (which I had a lot as a kids but never a fever like that!) Then a weeks later my stomach wasn't feeling good because of sinus drainage so I didn't eat and was still taking my antibiotic. So then on this past Sunday I hadn't eaten anything for a day so, I felt sick and was yacking on Sunday night :(. Then I forced myself to eat something and felt better (medicine on an empty stomach, is bad). So that was the past two weeks.
Today my mother-in-law is coming over so is taking us to Red Lobster... I want to eat lobster. Yum Yum!
that is all for now, nothing big but have no fear I am back and typing :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)