Conviction

I month ago a new girl started in my department at work (well, she was 30, so more like a woman) and one day we just started talking about marriage and divorce (I think this came up because we were talking about family and church and other "get to know you" kind of things). Anyways, after a bit of conversation she revealed to me that she was divorced and had been dating and living with a guy for a while and they were talking about getting married. But, she was having major reservations because she had been reading the Bible and read the section about getting remarried after divorce. (Matt. 19). In fact one of the reason she had just moved to Holland was because she felt convicted about what kind of example she was to her son living with her boyfriend.

So all of a sudden we had gone from talking about families and very basic stuff to a real fear of hers... and I was the first person she had shared it with. I thought that was kind of weird but I was honored that she shared it with me. I also don't think she had spent a ton of time with Christians close to her age, plus who else was she going to talk to about it.... we are the only 2 stockers in out department. (when you work stocking shelves talking with other people is the best part of the day).

So just by "chance" she read Matt 19..... and the word "adultery" really just stuck with her. I could see how it would too. That is a tough verse to swallow and a very.... how do you say it.... intense/descriptive word (but I think that was Jesus' M.O.).

So she said she felt awful about it but really wanted to be married and then said the words I feared the most.... "so... what do you think?"

Dang... what do I believe when it comes to remarriage and divorce? I really struggle with that verse. Even very recently, I have had to wrestle with what I thought about it. My mom and dad are recently divorced and my mom was/is dating a guy and I don't know what to think about that. Also, I have friends that are divorce and they got kind of... how to I say this... "screwed over" and left for not good reason (it would seem). So there are a lot of different situations and circumstances within a divorce..


I could tell by her face that my response to her wasn't what she was looking for. I simple just said... "I don't know. I struggle with that verse myself. I think that it is good that you are really examining that verse though. I know too many people who just blow it off or have some sort of an explanation around it it" (especially people who are younger and don't want to "live alone for the rest of their lives".. which I understand). Then I recommended that she talk to her pastor (she said she would but I don't think she ever did).

I could tell she was still upset and maybe a bit more disturbed that I didn't just say what so many people will say (even a lot of Christians) that there is "no problem" that "somethings just aren't meant to be" but I couldn't say that because I don't know.

Frankly, I really don't know what to think. So is divorce and remarriage ok at all or just sometimes. And if it is ok, when is it ok? Is it ok if you are the one who got cheated on? Is it ok if you and your spouse fight all the time? Is it ok if your spouse has been abusing you?

I don't know. I certainly don't think Jesus would say, "yes stick with your spouse and be beaten daily" but I also know he certainly didn't think highly of remarriage and divorce.

I do know that I hope I never have to deal with this myself (and if it is up to me I never will). I also know that God does want reconciliation between people (the entire Bible is about reconciliation between people and God; so a breaking up of families and people probably isn't high on God's list of things he loves). I also know that divorce, and even my mom and dad dating someone else, is hard as heck for me as a child, and I am 24 and not at home. And lastly, (after a long discussion with my wife) I know that, in reality and in most cases, it really isn't my place to drive a hard stake in the ground on an issue I have little to no experience with. I just can't I can't truly say one way or the other. I won't support it whole heartedly but I can't condemn it either.

Why couldn't it all be easier?

So today the girl at work moved back home to be closer to her friends, boyfriend and family. She was super home sick (I would have been too, she had no real friends here, no car, and was always lonely). It was a sad day for me because I had grow to really like her and enjoy her company. But, she left me disappointed and confused in the end.

I asked her if she knew where she was going to live when she got home and her answer was "yeah, at......" and then she looked embarrassed and looked down at the ground. So, I knew she was embarrassed to say she was moving back in with he boyfriend.

Bummer.

I was so encouraged to see taking time to question and think about what God was trying to tell her (or convict her of) and to see her acting out in the way she felt God directing her. But then when it came down to it she decided to move back in with her boyfriend (mostly, for financial reasons, I know) but still it was kind of crappy that it all comes down to dollars and cents.


So a was left wondering

Where do we let God direct us? How far will we go? Are we willing to be uncomfortable in the place God takes us? Will we listen to our convictions even if they are tough to swallow? And ultimately, will we listen to God or just simply hear what we want to hear and go where we want to go?