So.....
I am still waiting for a job. But I am doing some stuff to fill in my time... I have been actively looking into starting a non-profit that does media (web, print media, audio and video) for other non-profits and ministries around the area for free or very low cost. I am found the problem is we have a lot of really awesome ministries around the area and a lot of them have no way to get recognized (through the web or by advertising with print media). So a lot of ministries go overlooked and/or don't survive because they have no way to get their name out.
I found that as I worked more and more with non-profits they were really awesome and really needed media but often times didn't have the budget to do what needed to be done. So I thought about this for a while.... I loved working with non-profits but hated charging the price I had to (and hated that so much of their money had to go to media when it could be going for what really matters... helping the people in need).
So I was going to just let this idea try to fall into place (which it wouldn't have just fallen in my lap most likely) but then I had time... to think and pray... and all of a sudden I had people asking for the exact service that I was thinking of... so I thought.... hmmmm... maybe I am supposed to do this.
I guess it does seem to fit really well. It is ministry, it is helping TONS of people... in ways I will never even see. This will give me time to be away from the Church for a while and clear my head and attitude.... and help me mature enough to maybe lead people (in a church) later after I mature more and learn more. It is just really exciting.
I am excited.... I am know, I know, I am a big idea person but this is more than that (I hope). I am already following through on... so it is in motion. I have looked into a lawyer to start the 501c so I can get donations. I just had a meeting with the founder and just retired president of Wings of Mercy and am going to meet with a few other people for advice (which is one of the pieces of advice Pete VandenBosch (the Wings guy) just gave me.
So here is my to do List for the next couple weeks
1. Talk to more people. Take notes. Take advice.
2. Make a website
3. Get a web and design guy
#3 is my problem right now.... I have a guy (in mind) who would be great at programing the websites BUT he isn't great at design... so I either have to find someone who does both or figure out how to design stuff myself.... or run a 3 man team..... I want to find a Hope student that could help... or someone like that... even a high school student... it is all internet so it doesn't matter too much where they are located... I just need someone cheap that is interested and has a passion for people more than a passion for money. So we will see what happens.
It sound like a big undertaking but I have heard only good things... which is rare. The only negative I have hear was from someone who said "Why don't you just start a business and make money doing it". And to that I say, #1. You are missing the point #2. I don't need a bunch of money to be happy in life. I love people and want to minister to people... in some form.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Oh, the basement is done!
Thanks to all who help after the first flood... because after the insurance money here is our basement.
A Once a Weeker
Yeah, I haven't been posting that much lately. I guess I have just been busy and drained. I just have had a hard time getting myself to write lately. In fact I have had a hard time getting myself to do anything that takes a lot of thought lately. I think blogging is hard because I have kids that scream at me all the time during the day, but I think it is mainly hard because in blogging I usually reflect on life... which I don't really want to do right now.
But here is my reflections as of late.
Ok, seriously Catie and I have been fighting a lot and as much as I would like to pass the blame onto her... a lot of it is me. I am sure a lot of it is me... I can feel it. I am frustrated by a much of what she does... and it isn't any different than what she used to do. I am just snappy... at her and the kids. But probably more at her lately. I can just feel it.... I feel all crappy inside and I am always tired. That could have something to do with me getting up with Jude every night once or twice a night but I have a feeling it is because I am a bit depressed too.
I also have noticed I am more mean, cocky and snappy to other people. Catie said something about me being more cocky lately. And honestly, I couldn't disagree... I have been kind of jerky lately to a lot of people... just really short, really opinionated and all about what I want... so if anyone is reading that I have been a jerk too, I am sorry. I have learned that a lot of my cockiness comes from my being unsure of who I am (so apparently experts are right when they say that people over compensate when they are unsure of themselves).
I just feel lost. I realize how much of my identity comes from what I do... which I know as a Christian is not a good idea. I need to spend more time with God. Just crying out and listening (I need to listen more). I just don't know if God is listening anymore... I mean really... I know God is listening but... sometimes... I wonder. Ken was talking about asking and receiving from God... I just don't know why I don't have a job yet. I will say that without the insurance money that we got we would be a month or 2 behind on our house payments. Also there have been little things here and there that give us money (from friends to relatives to me getting a tiny side project that will give me a $100 or so.
I just wonder where God is... God I know you are out there but I am having terrible faith right now. I just pray that you give me more faith... true faith, no worries, just a peace in knowing that I can't do it but you can.
I just feel lost right now. And really tired. I could pretty much sleep at anytime... like right now :) a nap would be good. All that being said, I have gotten to work on my basement and house a lot and I have got to spend time with my kids a lot more... although sometimes I don't like that...
So all that to say. I really need God more than a job. I am really disappointed in myself for having such little faith. (I am disappointed in myself for a lot of stuff right now but mostly, I
wish I could have stood strong in faith through this time).
So I guess all I need right now is a good time with God. Hopefully that will be a cure-all.
But here is my reflections as of late.
Ok, seriously Catie and I have been fighting a lot and as much as I would like to pass the blame onto her... a lot of it is me. I am sure a lot of it is me... I can feel it. I am frustrated by a much of what she does... and it isn't any different than what she used to do. I am just snappy... at her and the kids. But probably more at her lately. I can just feel it.... I feel all crappy inside and I am always tired. That could have something to do with me getting up with Jude every night once or twice a night but I have a feeling it is because I am a bit depressed too.
I also have noticed I am more mean, cocky and snappy to other people. Catie said something about me being more cocky lately. And honestly, I couldn't disagree... I have been kind of jerky lately to a lot of people... just really short, really opinionated and all about what I want... so if anyone is reading that I have been a jerk too, I am sorry. I have learned that a lot of my cockiness comes from my being unsure of who I am (so apparently experts are right when they say that people over compensate when they are unsure of themselves).
I just feel lost. I realize how much of my identity comes from what I do... which I know as a Christian is not a good idea. I need to spend more time with God. Just crying out and listening (I need to listen more). I just don't know if God is listening anymore... I mean really... I know God is listening but... sometimes... I wonder. Ken was talking about asking and receiving from God... I just don't know why I don't have a job yet. I will say that without the insurance money that we got we would be a month or 2 behind on our house payments. Also there have been little things here and there that give us money (from friends to relatives to me getting a tiny side project that will give me a $100 or so.
I just wonder where God is... God I know you are out there but I am having terrible faith right now. I just pray that you give me more faith... true faith, no worries, just a peace in knowing that I can't do it but you can.
I just feel lost right now. And really tired. I could pretty much sleep at anytime... like right now :) a nap would be good. All that being said, I have gotten to work on my basement and house a lot and I have got to spend time with my kids a lot more... although sometimes I don't like that...
So all that to say. I really need God more than a job. I am really disappointed in myself for having such little faith. (I am disappointed in myself for a lot of stuff right now but mostly, I
wish I could have stood strong in faith through this time).
So I guess all I need right now is a good time with God. Hopefully that will be a cure-all.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Wow what a night
So last night I was checking my email and found 2 very disappointing emails. The first one was from Gentex where I had an interview for a Marketing Associate... I thought it went well but apparently not well enough to get me the job or another interview. So that was a huge bummer because I was excited about the potential of that job.
the second was a crazy email about the Obama sign that was once in front of our house. The person address the email to Catie and I. And in it told us that they were "so deeply troubled I drove past your house and saw an Obama sign". Then they go on write that "Obama openly supports abortion and homosexuality". And then goes on to tell us that because we voted for Obama we voted against God's Law. They then explain that we will "continue to struggle" until we "publicly repent". The said I (Josh) lost the respect of a lot of people and "destroyed [my] Christian witness and any aspiration of pastor ministry". And lastly, they give us hope by stating that "God will not over look this".
On a high note they did say, "I love you both, but am deeply concerned about your spiritual condition and lack of discernment."
Wow... hey Matt maybe that is why you felt like you needed pray for me after practice yesterday.
Needless to say I was PISSED and sad and embarrassed. I sent back an email telling them to tell me who they were or else the email would just be considered SPAM. I also said don't sit back and fling hurl insults at my family without tell me face to face. I was embarrassed to call myself a Christian at that moment.
Catie did the more wise thing and sent them a long email. She is much better with words and kept her cool quite well.
here is what she said.
Hi,
This is Catie writing this email - since you addressed it to both of us, its only fair that I give you my response to your email. I have a couple of things to say.
1. I think you have acted like a coward by not signing your name to your email. You have asked for a public repentance of us, yet you will not even privately give us your identity.
2. If you thought we were making a poor voting decision, you could have talked to us in person last week before we voted. Sending us such a letter written in such a harsh tone does nothing for us this week. Josh and I welcome discussion on various topics and are always open to changing our point of view if a logical, well supported opinion is presented. Maybe you would have changed our minds...we'll never know, but today you lost our respect.
3. The way you wrote this email - including our names, details about our family and current situation and then not signing your name or giving us your contact information anywhere in the letter makes this seem, to me, a bit like a stalker. This is the very most hurtful part of the whole letter. I was stalked for 3 years and it took about 6-8 moves before that person finally lost me or quit pursuing me. So when I read this with no person attached, I immediately recalled being stalked...and so instead of reading this with an open, humble heart, I rebuked this email, in the name of Jesus because I will not have the enemy steal the healing God has done in my heart regarding the stalking issue and unfortunately, the enemy was working through you in the way that you presented your concern for our family. If you really knew us and loved us, as you say you do, you would have known that this is not the way to speak love and truth to Josh and I, especially in the hard times we're going through.
4. Just so you know, since it seems like you are assuming in the first line of your email, race has nothing to do with why I voted for Obama. And you make your self sound racist when you assume this is an issue of race. If you would like my views on why I voted for Obama, I'm more than happy to discuss them with you.
Finally, I just want to ask for an apology from you to me and my husband. Josh is an amazing man and many people like and respect him. He works hard for his family, he is an excellent father and a wonderful husband. God has and is using him in many ways to minister to the people he works with, even by physically praying with them on the job, so to say his Christian witness is damaged is untruthful and your own assumption. They way you went about this whole thing was so hurtful in the fact that you attacked us without even speaking to us. You don't know why I voted for Obama and you didn't seem to care to ask - you just attacked our family after a time that nothing could be done about it. I feel really sad for you, that you believe this is the way to call others to repentance and hope that you are not doing this to non-Christians. You have been nothing but mean and hurtful in your email. I also want you to know, regardless of what you think of me or how I voted, that I am pro-life. I believe, more than making policies and sending berating emails, it is our jobs as Christians to walk along side people we think are wayward. It is our jobs as Christians to volunteer places where they help women make decisions about whether or not they should keep their babies. It is our job to financially and emotionally support women who have chosen not to abort their babies, even if it means we go without. That's what will lead others to Christ - you're saving two lives instead of one (and most likely more since that baby will grow up as a Christian too). So I challenge you to put your energy into volunteering at the Lakeshore Pregnancy Center (and maybe you are and that is truly a blessing) or find a women who chose to carry and raise her baby and financially support her or provide for her needs (and you may already be doing this and I thank you for that) instead of sending emails to people who have a different view point from yours without asking them how they really feel and why they feel that way.
May God bless you and your family and may we do better to you than you have done to us.
Sincerely,
Catie Hauch
So after she sent that the person emailed back and apologized. They seemed like a different person the second time (their tone was totally different and they actually knew proper grammar... unlike in the first email).
Cati,
Thank you for your letter. It was well thought out and a very mature
response. You are right, I should have spoken to you in person. I am
deeply sorry I have hurt you. I do agree with your comments on Josh. I
do believe he is a good and hard working man. I was just very
concerned about your vote for Obama. I see liberals and destroying our
beautiful country. I don't question you as people only your
discernment. I will agree to disagree with you on that matter. I do
love you and Josh and I am NO stalker. I do attend LVC. I am way to
embarrassed to reveal myself to you so this will be my last email to
you. Please forgive me for causing you hurt. I do wish I would
written the email differently. Perhaps you can eat any meat in the
letter and spit out the bones. The letter from Dutch Sheets I included
in my last email has some sobering thoughts in it. I do hope the best
for you both and I will leave your political future in God's hands.
Please forgive me for that.
So Catie sent back a "we forgive you" and the person responded with one more apology.
So now I just think the whole thing was crazy. Wow, what a time.... Insane. I think it is a little funny now. But still frustrating because these type of email and little things said to other Christians and non-Christians are the things that make people hate Christianity (and Christians in general). It just made me sad. I do forgive the person. As they said in the last email "It was a good learning experience"..... I guess it was a learning experience... think before you blast someone and question their faith.
Anyways, I am actually like 1000x more bummed about not getting the job than getting that email. I know Dave deals with that kind of stuff sometimes so I take it as kind of an honor to be slammed. Because ultimately I do want to be in ministry so I guess I am involved enough to get a lashing. :) They still never told who they were but I think I actually like that better. I am fine with not knowing, in fact it is easier. I won't be "stand-offish" to anyone. They will have to deal with it.
So that was last night and early today. My prayer is just that that person learns more about people before they judge and I also need prayer that I find a job. I have never been turned down by so many jobs in my life.
the second was a crazy email about the Obama sign that was once in front of our house. The person address the email to Catie and I. And in it told us that they were "so deeply troubled I drove past your house and saw an Obama sign". Then they go on write that "Obama openly supports abortion and homosexuality". And then goes on to tell us that because we voted for Obama we voted against God's Law. They then explain that we will "continue to struggle" until we "publicly repent". The said I (Josh) lost the respect of a lot of people and "destroyed [my] Christian witness and any aspiration of pastor ministry". And lastly, they give us hope by stating that "God will not over look this".
On a high note they did say, "I love you both, but am deeply concerned about your spiritual condition and lack of discernment."
Wow... hey Matt maybe that is why you felt like you needed pray for me after practice yesterday.
Needless to say I was PISSED and sad and embarrassed. I sent back an email telling them to tell me who they were or else the email would just be considered SPAM. I also said don't sit back and fling hurl insults at my family without tell me face to face. I was embarrassed to call myself a Christian at that moment.
Catie did the more wise thing and sent them a long email. She is much better with words and kept her cool quite well.
here is what she said.
Hi,
This is Catie writing this email - since you addressed it to both of us, its only fair that I give you my response to your email. I have a couple of things to say.
1. I think you have acted like a coward by not signing your name to your email. You have asked for a public repentance of us, yet you will not even privately give us your identity.
2. If you thought we were making a poor voting decision, you could have talked to us in person last week before we voted. Sending us such a letter written in such a harsh tone does nothing for us this week. Josh and I welcome discussion on various topics and are always open to changing our point of view if a logical, well supported opinion is presented. Maybe you would have changed our minds...we'll never know, but today you lost our respect.
3. The way you wrote this email - including our names, details about our family and current situation and then not signing your name or giving us your contact information anywhere in the letter makes this seem, to me, a bit like a stalker. This is the very most hurtful part of the whole letter. I was stalked for 3 years and it took about 6-8 moves before that person finally lost me or quit pursuing me. So when I read this with no person attached, I immediately recalled being stalked...and so instead of reading this with an open, humble heart, I rebuked this email, in the name of Jesus because I will not have the enemy steal the healing God has done in my heart regarding the stalking issue and unfortunately, the enemy was working through you in the way that you presented your concern for our family. If you really knew us and loved us, as you say you do, you would have known that this is not the way to speak love and truth to Josh and I, especially in the hard times we're going through.
4. Just so you know, since it seems like you are assuming in the first line of your email, race has nothing to do with why I voted for Obama. And you make your self sound racist when you assume this is an issue of race. If you would like my views on why I voted for Obama, I'm more than happy to discuss them with you.
Finally, I just want to ask for an apology from you to me and my husband. Josh is an amazing man and many people like and respect him. He works hard for his family, he is an excellent father and a wonderful husband. God has and is using him in many ways to minister to the people he works with, even by physically praying with them on the job, so to say his Christian witness is damaged is untruthful and your own assumption. They way you went about this whole thing was so hurtful in the fact that you attacked us without even speaking to us. You don't know why I voted for Obama and you didn't seem to care to ask - you just attacked our family after a time that nothing could be done about it. I feel really sad for you, that you believe this is the way to call others to repentance and hope that you are not doing this to non-Christians. You have been nothing but mean and hurtful in your email. I also want you to know, regardless of what you think of me or how I voted, that I am pro-life. I believe, more than making policies and sending berating emails, it is our jobs as Christians to walk along side people we think are wayward. It is our jobs as Christians to volunteer places where they help women make decisions about whether or not they should keep their babies. It is our job to financially and emotionally support women who have chosen not to abort their babies, even if it means we go without. That's what will lead others to Christ - you're saving two lives instead of one (and most likely more since that baby will grow up as a Christian too). So I challenge you to put your energy into volunteering at the Lakeshore Pregnancy Center (and maybe you are and that is truly a blessing) or find a women who chose to carry and raise her baby and financially support her or provide for her needs (and you may already be doing this and I thank you for that) instead of sending emails to people who have a different view point from yours without asking them how they really feel and why they feel that way.
May God bless you and your family and may we do better to you than you have done to us.
Sincerely,
Catie Hauch
So after she sent that the person emailed back and apologized. They seemed like a different person the second time (their tone was totally different and they actually knew proper grammar... unlike in the first email).
Cati,
Thank you for your letter. It was well thought out and a very mature
response. You are right, I should have spoken to you in person. I am
deeply sorry I have hurt you. I do agree with your comments on Josh. I
do believe he is a good and hard working man. I was just very
concerned about your vote for Obama. I see liberals and destroying our
beautiful country. I don't question you as people only your
discernment. I will agree to disagree with you on that matter. I do
love you and Josh and I am NO stalker. I do attend LVC. I am way to
embarrassed to reveal myself to you so this will be my last email to
you. Please forgive me for causing you hurt. I do wish I would
written the email differently. Perhaps you can eat any meat in the
letter and spit out the bones. The letter from Dutch Sheets I included
in my last email has some sobering thoughts in it. I do hope the best
for you both and I will leave your political future in God's hands.
Please forgive me for that.
So Catie sent back a "we forgive you" and the person responded with one more apology.
So now I just think the whole thing was crazy. Wow, what a time.... Insane. I think it is a little funny now. But still frustrating because these type of email and little things said to other Christians and non-Christians are the things that make people hate Christianity (and Christians in general). It just made me sad. I do forgive the person. As they said in the last email "It was a good learning experience"..... I guess it was a learning experience... think before you blast someone and question their faith.
Anyways, I am actually like 1000x more bummed about not getting the job than getting that email. I know Dave deals with that kind of stuff sometimes so I take it as kind of an honor to be slammed. Because ultimately I do want to be in ministry so I guess I am involved enough to get a lashing. :) They still never told who they were but I think I actually like that better. I am fine with not knowing, in fact it is easier. I won't be "stand-offish" to anyone. They will have to deal with it.
So that was last night and early today. My prayer is just that that person learns more about people before they judge and I also need prayer that I find a job. I have never been turned down by so many jobs in my life.
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