Man, I just got done reading the most awesome blog post. I think it was just posted by my friend Dave on JANUARY 9th... oh wait that was a few Fridays ago..... I sure wish he would give an update. (Sorry Dave, had to get you the message).
Anyways.... so Catie is back to obsessing over my job and stressing over my job. Seriously, when she does this it stresses me out a bunch.
We are looking at different jobs all over the country now; which isn't very fun for us to think about but it is a reality. Since the Thursday night job talk thing Catie and I went to I have felt really unsure of what to do. One thing that did help was I actually forked over all my b-day money to that that super over priced Kolbe test ($65... would have rather used that to do something else). But, that being said it did confirm a lot of things about me and it has a list of 100 job field and talks about how well (or not well) I would do in each one. Unfortunately, there is not a lot out there I am qualified for.... I can't just become a lawyer.
I seriously have no idea what to do... I was "debating" with pastor Ken at church about whether I would just take a job anywhere, away from all family, friends etc and do something I didn't really want to do. He told me, "Its not about whether you like it or not". And I thought "Hell yes it is, if I am moving away from everything I DO like I better like my new job because I can tell you one thing, life at home will not be fun for a little while after we leave". Its not like going and being a pastor somewhere... where you are almost automatically brought in and loved by most people because you are being brought into a community that is supposed to be loving anyways.
A friend of mine emailed me about my last post and he talked about how much money the people that the speaker (from Thurs night) usually tries recruits make.... which is 80-100k. Yeah, I would probably pull up my bootstraps and take off for 80k a year. But lets be realistic here.... unless I am totally missing something.... I am not going to make that.... I will be lucky if I make 40-50k... quite lucky it seems.
So my outlook is not great right now. I need to be in prayer more. I also have noticed that when Catie and I don't do the Bible study thing together we are much more stressed out at each other (and she freaks about jobs more). I just realize the power of spending time together in prayer and God's word. So I should make myself keep doing it even if I don't want to at the time.
So my questions is what should I do? I have no idea.....
Monday, January 19, 2009
Friday, January 16, 2009
To stay or Go... that is the question
So, Catie and I went to this small meeting/class at our church about getting a job and how to get a job. It was ok. I didn't mind it. The guy talk a bit too much about himself/money at the begining but overall near the end I thought it gave some decent ideas on how to search for a job better. He talked about getting to the guy who is hiring... to try and bypass the HR people who just screen you out. He talked about trying to connect with people... trying to be "one of them" on an interview. It was all good to know. (he also gave out some CDs and a resume outline which could be helpful).
So there were some good tips. BUT there was also a fair amount of GLOOM AND DOOM. The whole "Michigan is going down, get out while you can... because it is not getting better anytime soon". He gave the places that were the good ones to move to... Texas... the Carolinas. I think it freaked a lot of people out including Catie.
I think he spoke better to guys then girls. Because the woman that asked questions such as "Do you know anything about jobs in other countries". He quickly, snapped an answer of no not really unless it is mission organization and if it isn't they probably don't need you to work over there". Which is true (in the case of Mexico especially... when you don't speak Spanish) but still I think the woman almost started to cry.
Overall, his advice was ok but you are better off just emailing Dave Ramsey... because really it is a financial decision. So now Catie is freaking out AGAIN about me getting a job... which means she will be on me all the time about getting a job and freaking out when I don't get one and becoming more and more worried/depressed when I don't get one. I was enjoying the time together not being worried. Hopefully this will not be the case but either way apparently Bill was the the speak that Catie needed to hear.
For it was neither here nor there. It was helpful but also a bit unnerving at the same time. I don't know what to do though. First I need to figure out what I am called to do. Because if I were to leave everything behind that I love... it better be for a pretty sweet job... because money isn't everything (although it does help me be less stressed sometimes). So here again would be the reasons to move or not move. Pros and Cons.
Pros
I would be able to have a job and make more money
I might get a job I really love
I would be in a new environment and learn new things
I would meet new people
The kids aren't in school yet so it is easier
I would be excited about life a bit more, if it was the right job
Cons
I don't have good credit now (after this time) and would not be able to get another house, meaning 5 people in an apt
I would be leaving my family and Catie's family (which is important to us.. and take our kids)
I would be leaving all my friends
I would be leaving my church
I might move and find out I hate the job and be stuck with nothing
Catie doesn't want to move
I don't want to move
We would have to find a new group of people we trust to watch our kids
We would lose money on the house
So Catie, called today and said, "We need to finish up all the projects around the house so we can be read to move". It was really weird and sad to hear that. I know with all her heart she doesn't want to move... and honestly, I am open to the idea but NOT excited. Catie and I feel alone around here enough as it is sometimes (and we have a lot of friends). We already wish we were closer to family so we could see them more and have a break from our kids more often.
Honestly, I don't know what to think. I guess I need to pray about it more. The problem with moving somewhere is I don't even know what I want to do... I certainly know it probably isn't video... I guess it could be but I would rather do something else... less technical more people. But that might not be the reality. It just is hard for me to stomach, moving away from everything you love, not really liking a job but just getting paid a good amount. It seems like a crappy option. But sitting around doing nothing isn't working very well either... I hate that too (yet I still find happiness in other stuff... like playing video games tonight).
So here it is:
God, if you want me to move. I need it to be apparent... that is the bottom line. I will look and try not to resist where you are leading Catie and I.
So there were some good tips. BUT there was also a fair amount of GLOOM AND DOOM. The whole "Michigan is going down, get out while you can... because it is not getting better anytime soon". He gave the places that were the good ones to move to... Texas... the Carolinas. I think it freaked a lot of people out including Catie.
I think he spoke better to guys then girls. Because the woman that asked questions such as "Do you know anything about jobs in other countries". He quickly, snapped an answer of no not really unless it is mission organization and if it isn't they probably don't need you to work over there". Which is true (in the case of Mexico especially... when you don't speak Spanish) but still I think the woman almost started to cry.
Overall, his advice was ok but you are better off just emailing Dave Ramsey... because really it is a financial decision. So now Catie is freaking out AGAIN about me getting a job... which means she will be on me all the time about getting a job and freaking out when I don't get one and becoming more and more worried/depressed when I don't get one. I was enjoying the time together not being worried. Hopefully this will not be the case but either way apparently Bill was the the speak that Catie needed to hear.
For it was neither here nor there. It was helpful but also a bit unnerving at the same time. I don't know what to do though. First I need to figure out what I am called to do. Because if I were to leave everything behind that I love... it better be for a pretty sweet job... because money isn't everything (although it does help me be less stressed sometimes). So here again would be the reasons to move or not move. Pros and Cons.
Pros
I would be able to have a job and make more money
I might get a job I really love
I would be in a new environment and learn new things
I would meet new people
The kids aren't in school yet so it is easier
I would be excited about life a bit more, if it was the right job
Cons
I don't have good credit now (after this time) and would not be able to get another house, meaning 5 people in an apt
I would be leaving my family and Catie's family (which is important to us.. and take our kids)
I would be leaving all my friends
I would be leaving my church
I might move and find out I hate the job and be stuck with nothing
Catie doesn't want to move
I don't want to move
We would have to find a new group of people we trust to watch our kids
We would lose money on the house
So Catie, called today and said, "We need to finish up all the projects around the house so we can be read to move". It was really weird and sad to hear that. I know with all her heart she doesn't want to move... and honestly, I am open to the idea but NOT excited. Catie and I feel alone around here enough as it is sometimes (and we have a lot of friends). We already wish we were closer to family so we could see them more and have a break from our kids more often.
Honestly, I don't know what to think. I guess I need to pray about it more. The problem with moving somewhere is I don't even know what I want to do... I certainly know it probably isn't video... I guess it could be but I would rather do something else... less technical more people. But that might not be the reality. It just is hard for me to stomach, moving away from everything you love, not really liking a job but just getting paid a good amount. It seems like a crappy option. But sitting around doing nothing isn't working very well either... I hate that too (yet I still find happiness in other stuff... like playing video games tonight).
So here it is:
God, if you want me to move. I need it to be apparent... that is the bottom line. I will look and try not to resist where you are leading Catie and I.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Great Lesson
Last night Catie and I had another good prayer and breaking curses time. It was a good lesson on the Midianite Curse (in a nut shell it is the curse that steals away time, money, emotional well being every year). Then Catie had a dream about the whole thing. She was dreaming about God covering up past issues in her life. Then when she woke up and really thought about what she was dreaming about she realized the significants of it all. It just gave her conformation that God has broken some curses on her life, and on our life. It was cool.
The whole spiritual realm is a bit newish to me. I grew up in a charismatic church so not too much is new but because of some weird things I saw at that church I have been really wary of really getting into the spiritual side of things (even though I knew it was real). To be ok with it and not be overly skeptical or scared of what goes on there, is a new experience. But it has been good. I am growing and understanding and learning to trust that God is bigger than anything I will ever encounter.
That being said I look forward to the next lesson!
The whole spiritual realm is a bit newish to me. I grew up in a charismatic church so not too much is new but because of some weird things I saw at that church I have been really wary of really getting into the spiritual side of things (even though I knew it was real). To be ok with it and not be overly skeptical or scared of what goes on there, is a new experience. But it has been good. I am growing and understanding and learning to trust that God is bigger than anything I will ever encounter.
That being said I look forward to the next lesson!
Monday, January 12, 2009
Pruning
So to go along with the church theme for today I have been thinking about pruning.... church pruning to be exact.
A long time ago I wrote about LVC needing to be pruned for people that were not in line with what God had in store for us as a church. At the time a knew a few people were leaving (or going to possibly leave). But not all left because they disagreed with something. Some people just left because they felt called somewhere else or they needed to move... or whatever. Yet, since that time the church is much smaller.. numbers have dropped, offering has gone down and yet, I have the feeling we are beginning to gain momentum.
I think the church had filled up with a bunch of people with not the same vision. LVC was trying to be baptist, pentecostal, vineyard and reformed all at the same time... while offending no one... which is not going to happen.... in fact it was making the church dysfunctional. So now we are smaller and still finding out what God has in store for us as a community but we seem to have a vision. At least now, most of the branches that were once in the way of growth (of our church) have since been pruned in one way or another.
Now I am not saying the people that left (or were pruned away) did not fit or would not fit today (although some wouldn't fit) all I am saying is that it seems in order to make the church start to move again there had to be a major overhaul. MAJOR. Like most of the leadership and a lot of the big givers, a lot of people. But that is what needed to be done. any God has been faithful in all of it. I am glad that the leadership didn't fear losing some people... they feared God (and that is what matters).
Yet, all this time I had/have been thinking... "What if I was one of the people that needed to be "pruned away" was me?" I always wondered if I would be ok with that. I just had felt like I tried to hold on so long to be at the church... yet, in the end I always seemed to have the cards stacked against me (in one way or another). For a while I was frustrated but now I wonder if God wasn't involved in the whole thing anyways. I wonder if I needed to be off staff... maybe that was a good thing.. for me and for the church... maybe I was holding things back. I know that God knows what is best... and in hindsight I am beginning to think that it is better that I am not around.
I feel like I am really learning about God lately instead of being frustrated at everything that goes on inside the church right now. If the church didn't need me to be pruned from being on staff ... I needed it. I know that I want to be in ministry (at least that is what I think for now) but being in ministry leading people doesn't work well if you yourself aren't firmly locked into what God is saying. God doesn't need another infomercial spokes person, a person that knows the right lines to say when the camera is on but in reality doesn't really know what the heart is of the people trying to sell it. That would have been me... I was actually at times getting less and less plugged into the Holy Spirit and more and more learning the knowledge of how a church runs.
Now you and I both know that I would never had said whatever the "company line" was just to be a spokes person but still... I was getting further and further from knowing God's heart for me and for the church... and that doesn't add up if you want to be in ministry.
A long time ago I wrote about LVC needing to be pruned for people that were not in line with what God had in store for us as a church. At the time a knew a few people were leaving (or going to possibly leave). But not all left because they disagreed with something. Some people just left because they felt called somewhere else or they needed to move... or whatever. Yet, since that time the church is much smaller.. numbers have dropped, offering has gone down and yet, I have the feeling we are beginning to gain momentum.
I think the church had filled up with a bunch of people with not the same vision. LVC was trying to be baptist, pentecostal, vineyard and reformed all at the same time... while offending no one... which is not going to happen.... in fact it was making the church dysfunctional. So now we are smaller and still finding out what God has in store for us as a community but we seem to have a vision. At least now, most of the branches that were once in the way of growth (of our church) have since been pruned in one way or another.
Now I am not saying the people that left (or were pruned away) did not fit or would not fit today (although some wouldn't fit) all I am saying is that it seems in order to make the church start to move again there had to be a major overhaul. MAJOR. Like most of the leadership and a lot of the big givers, a lot of people. But that is what needed to be done. any God has been faithful in all of it. I am glad that the leadership didn't fear losing some people... they feared God (and that is what matters).
Yet, all this time I had/have been thinking... "What if I was one of the people that needed to be "pruned away" was me?" I always wondered if I would be ok with that. I just had felt like I tried to hold on so long to be at the church... yet, in the end I always seemed to have the cards stacked against me (in one way or another). For a while I was frustrated but now I wonder if God wasn't involved in the whole thing anyways. I wonder if I needed to be off staff... maybe that was a good thing.. for me and for the church... maybe I was holding things back. I know that God knows what is best... and in hindsight I am beginning to think that it is better that I am not around.
I feel like I am really learning about God lately instead of being frustrated at everything that goes on inside the church right now. If the church didn't need me to be pruned from being on staff ... I needed it. I know that I want to be in ministry (at least that is what I think for now) but being in ministry leading people doesn't work well if you yourself aren't firmly locked into what God is saying. God doesn't need another infomercial spokes person, a person that knows the right lines to say when the camera is on but in reality doesn't really know what the heart is of the people trying to sell it. That would have been me... I was actually at times getting less and less plugged into the Holy Spirit and more and more learning the knowledge of how a church runs.
Now you and I both know that I would never had said whatever the "company line" was just to be a spokes person but still... I was getting further and further from knowing God's heart for me and for the church... and that doesn't add up if you want to be in ministry.
A new Start
So on Sunday Ray Befus (the Regional Vineyard Overseerer) announced that Ken Thomas was going to be the senior pastor at LVC. The announcement didn't come as a surprise to me (I had know that was probably the case for a while) but I still had mixed feelings about the whole thing. When I first foudn out about it, honestly, I was not excited much at all. Not because I don't like Ken, because I really love the guy and think he is awesome, but because I just didn't know if I thought it was the right step for the church to take. I thought there were some problem that might come along with Ken as the head pastor.
To start I didn't know if it was health for him to do it. I just think that because of the whole thing with Paul leaving (and other people thinking Ken squeezed him out... which he did not!) I just am not sure that it doesn't look a bit like a "take over". I think there is a reality that some people will always view it that way (even if they are wrong). Even me who know most of the behind the scenes action of the whole thing am left sometimes wondering if this is what he kind of wanted... even if I know it is not the case.
I know there will be a few people that leave because of this (as I have already heard from one) but that is ok there were a lot of really excited people too (I thought that was a good sign... it surprised me!). I am sure it made Ken feel a little better (as I am sure he was a bit nervous).
The second reservation I had was that I am not sure that teaching and vision casting is the strongest part of Ken as a leader (I think his strengths are in one on one quite time and administration). I just felt that at the time the church needed a person to really lead them... a person people wanted to follow (I guess maybe more charismatic). I also know that Ken doesn't exactly appeal to the younger generation as much... I think Dave does a better job of that (in actions and preaching).
I guess all in all it is up to God. I just have to trust that the elders made the right choice and that God is in this whole imperfect thing. I know that God is present in this whole mess... That being said Sunday was awesome and the most "Vineyardish" I have see in years. Good worship and a good response. God was moving in the church yesterday... in a big way.. it was awesome.
So maybe God was pleased with the decision whether other people were or not. What I do know is that God knows what he is doing. And sometimes he does things that we think, in are feeble minds, are a bad idea... and then it all works out. God has a mysterious way of doing things.
To start I didn't know if it was health for him to do it. I just think that because of the whole thing with Paul leaving (and other people thinking Ken squeezed him out... which he did not!) I just am not sure that it doesn't look a bit like a "take over". I think there is a reality that some people will always view it that way (even if they are wrong). Even me who know most of the behind the scenes action of the whole thing am left sometimes wondering if this is what he kind of wanted... even if I know it is not the case.
I know there will be a few people that leave because of this (as I have already heard from one) but that is ok there were a lot of really excited people too (I thought that was a good sign... it surprised me!). I am sure it made Ken feel a little better (as I am sure he was a bit nervous).
The second reservation I had was that I am not sure that teaching and vision casting is the strongest part of Ken as a leader (I think his strengths are in one on one quite time and administration). I just felt that at the time the church needed a person to really lead them... a person people wanted to follow (I guess maybe more charismatic). I also know that Ken doesn't exactly appeal to the younger generation as much... I think Dave does a better job of that (in actions and preaching).
I guess all in all it is up to God. I just have to trust that the elders made the right choice and that God is in this whole imperfect thing. I know that God is present in this whole mess... That being said Sunday was awesome and the most "Vineyardish" I have see in years. Good worship and a good response. God was moving in the church yesterday... in a big way.. it was awesome.
So maybe God was pleased with the decision whether other people were or not. What I do know is that God knows what he is doing. And sometimes he does things that we think, in are feeble minds, are a bad idea... and then it all works out. God has a mysterious way of doing things.
Friday, January 9, 2009
No Heights of Hope Job
So I got an email that I was waiting for saying that I didn't get the positions I applied for BUT that is ok. It went to someone who was already living in the apartments (understandable). So.. God has something better. I will not fear.
God it is up to you!
God it is up to you!
Financial Curses and Blessings
Seriously, this sermon series I am listening too should be heard by everyone... seriously we should do something like this at church. It is amazing. I think I am going to copy the CD and the material so I can have on hand. Honestly, I am thinking of going through it again right away. Just so I can follow along in the Bible... this a rare thing for me... listening to a whole series more than once (especially something of this length (like 7-9 hours). It is really good. Everyone who reads this blog should be asking me how to get a copy (I recommend the church leaders... seriously listen... it would be really good for the church I think... and of course anyone). It is just really eye opening. If you want to hear them just let me know. If don't that is ok too.. :)
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