I love the sun! It is nice. A beautiful day... sun with a few small snow flakes drifting in the air. As Noelen says happily "It is sunny and snowy!"
And our neighbor just snowblew my front path... that was nice. He is a nice guy... he snow blows everyones driveways without them asking. I think he loves to snowblow and just help people out (in fact he just came over with a shovel and "cleaned up" more snow. The sad part for me is that I don't think he is a Christian yet, in a lot of ways, he is more friendly than me (always saying hi as he rides by on his bike or walks). I am impressed of him.... he seriously looks like he is homeless, smokes and drinks all the time BUT is the most genuinely friendly guy on the block. Saying hi and remember everyones' names.... I am embarrassed sometimes that that is not me... it should be me more than it is now. The sad part of the whole thing is that I know we have at least 3 houses near me that have Christians in them.... and they are all much less friendly than he is... in fact... I rarely see the other people.
We are such a "independent culture" and we are taught to be an independent culture (all well following a certain set of unwritten rules of course... that ultimately makes people fit in together). I just realize this summer I need to be outside more... and not in my backyard. This summer Catie and I are going to take more walks and get to know our neighbors better. I want to really know the people I am living around... and you have to start somewhere, hopefully we will see people this summer (I need to remember everyone's names too. That helps in making people feel important... In fact, I can't remember our snow blowing neighbors name). Anyways, it is time that I got out more and loved my neighborhood more... loved the people that are around me that I drive by everyday and never talk to... I should ride my bike more this spring/summer... that would be a start
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Can't Shake it....
So.... hmmmm... I wish I could.... I sometimes wish I could get rid of the fact that I seriously want to be in ministry. But I feel ok with the fact that I am where I am right now. Learning what I need to learn for this moment and in the future. I know that I need to mature more personally and spiritually to be able to minister to other people. I need to be stable in myself in order to be stable for others. There is so much I need to learn... although I know, I will never be "fully ready" in my mind. It is like having kids. Yeah, getting "enough" money and time and a good stable job is a good and wise approach before having kids but seriously... you will never have enough time, money, energy or stamina to be ready to have kids. It's like Lake Michigan you just need to jump in.. and eventually your legs will grow numb and the water will feel nice. (I think I just did an example of an example).
Anyways, last night's financial curse/blessings series was good again. I was tired so it was a bit hard to pay attention but still it had a lot of good stuff in it (even if I was only paying attention 80% of the time). Last night the speaker talked about claiming your birthright. And how you go about doing it. How to do it the right way. He talked about timing and patience. And used Jesus as a great example of it. He said that Jesus wanted to begin his ministry when he was 12 (in the temple) but that wasn't the right time and he knew it. So for 18 years he spent his time working for others in a different manner that he really wanted too (doing carpentry). And even when he got into ministry he didn't do miracles and sermons on demand. In fact he did it as quietly as he could for a long time. He was always on God's time. Even if it seemed to be a weird timing. That's the same way it was on the cross. He was all alone, it was his/God's decision. Everyone had left him, no one was pushing him to die for everyone (well I guess the pharisees were wanting him to die). But the timing was all God's perfectly setup. Everything was as the prophets had said and the timing of the cross was perfect.... in only a way that God could make it.
So I guess I will continue to wait (really what choice do I have?). I know God has something more for me than media... I need him to and I just know that there is more (I just have to wait to see in what capacity that will be). I want to be a part of something more than computers and media. I want to help people see the reality of Christ and the life that Christ brings and the hope that real Christian community can bring.
That lead me to say.....
I was thinking the other day about not being a Christian and thinking about what the point of life would be... and I realized. Seriously, there is no point just survival and pleasure... That is all. You see for me, I think about a day or a week and realize there are billions of people out there that need to know Jesus Christ, that need to know the freedom... the hope of something more.
I really began to think about this when I was down in the dumps. I just realized that my life, my purpose is serving God and without that... life is really really crappy. What is the point? Nothing. That is all. Life is just... life. And if Christianity isn't true that how many people really truely believe in heaven or hell? I would kind of wonder... all the time. If I wasn't on earth serving some God.... why the heck would there just be a heaven? I guess for most people it just make them feel better about dying... or gives them a way to understand evil in their minds.
When you think this way it makes more sense why people who don't know Jesus as their savior act the way they do. The whole way they view life is completely different from me. It is virtually the exact opposite. The only thing guiding them is the law... besides that.. all you have to deal with is maybe some guilt
All that being said... that is why I am passionate about people and passionate about people knowing the awesome TRUTH and FREEDOM in Jesus Christ. I know many have heard of Jesus but there is such a difference (even just in your mentality alone). Christianity is something awesome. The reality of Jesus' death on the cross is awesome. It is a family when you have none, a freedom from oppression, a hope for something better, a knowledge of something stronger, the power to do the incomprehensible, a blinding light in the dark, a reality of heaven, a incorruptible justice... it is something to live for. You know something.... you are a part of something... someone.... that will change lives... that will save lives. That is your mission in life... all the other stuff is just surviving.
Anyways, last night's financial curse/blessings series was good again. I was tired so it was a bit hard to pay attention but still it had a lot of good stuff in it (even if I was only paying attention 80% of the time). Last night the speaker talked about claiming your birthright. And how you go about doing it. How to do it the right way. He talked about timing and patience. And used Jesus as a great example of it. He said that Jesus wanted to begin his ministry when he was 12 (in the temple) but that wasn't the right time and he knew it. So for 18 years he spent his time working for others in a different manner that he really wanted too (doing carpentry). And even when he got into ministry he didn't do miracles and sermons on demand. In fact he did it as quietly as he could for a long time. He was always on God's time. Even if it seemed to be a weird timing. That's the same way it was on the cross. He was all alone, it was his/God's decision. Everyone had left him, no one was pushing him to die for everyone (well I guess the pharisees were wanting him to die). But the timing was all God's perfectly setup. Everything was as the prophets had said and the timing of the cross was perfect.... in only a way that God could make it.
So I guess I will continue to wait (really what choice do I have?). I know God has something more for me than media... I need him to and I just know that there is more (I just have to wait to see in what capacity that will be). I want to be a part of something more than computers and media. I want to help people see the reality of Christ and the life that Christ brings and the hope that real Christian community can bring.
That lead me to say.....
I was thinking the other day about not being a Christian and thinking about what the point of life would be... and I realized. Seriously, there is no point just survival and pleasure... That is all. You see for me, I think about a day or a week and realize there are billions of people out there that need to know Jesus Christ, that need to know the freedom... the hope of something more.
I really began to think about this when I was down in the dumps. I just realized that my life, my purpose is serving God and without that... life is really really crappy. What is the point? Nothing. That is all. Life is just... life. And if Christianity isn't true that how many people really truely believe in heaven or hell? I would kind of wonder... all the time. If I wasn't on earth serving some God.... why the heck would there just be a heaven? I guess for most people it just make them feel better about dying... or gives them a way to understand evil in their minds.
When you think this way it makes more sense why people who don't know Jesus as their savior act the way they do. The whole way they view life is completely different from me. It is virtually the exact opposite. The only thing guiding them is the law... besides that.. all you have to deal with is maybe some guilt
All that being said... that is why I am passionate about people and passionate about people knowing the awesome TRUTH and FREEDOM in Jesus Christ. I know many have heard of Jesus but there is such a difference (even just in your mentality alone). Christianity is something awesome. The reality of Jesus' death on the cross is awesome. It is a family when you have none, a freedom from oppression, a hope for something better, a knowledge of something stronger, the power to do the incomprehensible, a blinding light in the dark, a reality of heaven, a incorruptible justice... it is something to live for. You know something.... you are a part of something... someone.... that will change lives... that will save lives. That is your mission in life... all the other stuff is just surviving.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
New style
Soe woke up with this new up and coming style that she designed herself. I believe its kind of an 80's meets today... it even looks like she has on too much blush... perfect.
Curses and Blessings
So Catie and I had a good night last night. We are going through this series about financial curses and blessings. I was skeptical at first but honestly the more I heard (it is a audio series), the more everything lined up with Catie and my lives. The man speaking, Arthur Burk, is really interesting and runs a ministry named Plumbline (somewhere in California). He talked about the reality of curses and blessings and spiritually in peoples finances (so often we just cut spiritually out of parts our lives). It was really interesting. I began to listen harder as he described how some people just never seem to have real favor in the matter of their own finances. Things just happen to them that don't usually happen to other people. He gave an example of having your credit cards paid off and then your transmission fails, or someone gets sick and you don't have insurance (and I a lot more). Now I realize all of these things can happen to anyone at anytime but he also spoke on it happening usually at the same time each year (and it happens almost EVERY fall for Catie and I since we got married). The words he spoke just hit on many things we were feeling.
Yet, he also talked about the reality of people spending money unwisely.... and that is why they have a hard time with money... it may not be a curse... it may be a problem of greed. Catie and I think ours is a little of both. We have made some stupid moves with credit cards in the past... and we are now paying for that (literally). But also there have been so many things that have happened that seem to set us back every year. From jobs, to landlords switching our contracts to force us to pay more, to hospital visits (literally every time someone in our family doesn't have insurance we have a trip to the ER... it is really weird). And usually this always happens in the fall... it is really strange.
Arthur talked about it happening at the same time every year as being a sign of a curse. It just seemed to line up really well. And he back almost everything with scripture... he talked about the Israelite's enemy the Moabites, and how each year at the same time they would come and take food after the harvest... they would come in, take, and then leave. The main idea was that someone along the line forgot to claim their birthright in Jesus Christ. They forgot to claim that they are a part of Christ Jesus... finances and all.
Anyways, there is a lot more to the whole thing... it is hard for me to explain.. but it was really good for the first series. I learned a lot and was able to basically go through a freedom appointment for my finances (or the start of one). It was also really good to take time and pray and study with Catie... it has been, probably 5 years or so since we really did that. I loved sharing that time with her thinking and praying. Just that was worth it.
So we continue on tonight. It will be good. I am excited to heard more and learn more and spend that hour and a half or so with Catie.
Yet, he also talked about the reality of people spending money unwisely.... and that is why they have a hard time with money... it may not be a curse... it may be a problem of greed. Catie and I think ours is a little of both. We have made some stupid moves with credit cards in the past... and we are now paying for that (literally). But also there have been so many things that have happened that seem to set us back every year. From jobs, to landlords switching our contracts to force us to pay more, to hospital visits (literally every time someone in our family doesn't have insurance we have a trip to the ER... it is really weird). And usually this always happens in the fall... it is really strange.
Arthur talked about it happening at the same time every year as being a sign of a curse. It just seemed to line up really well. And he back almost everything with scripture... he talked about the Israelite's enemy the Moabites, and how each year at the same time they would come and take food after the harvest... they would come in, take, and then leave. The main idea was that someone along the line forgot to claim their birthright in Jesus Christ. They forgot to claim that they are a part of Christ Jesus... finances and all.
Anyways, there is a lot more to the whole thing... it is hard for me to explain.. but it was really good for the first series. I learned a lot and was able to basically go through a freedom appointment for my finances (or the start of one). It was also really good to take time and pray and study with Catie... it has been, probably 5 years or so since we really did that. I loved sharing that time with her thinking and praying. Just that was worth it.
So we continue on tonight. It will be good. I am excited to heard more and learn more and spend that hour and a half or so with Catie.
Shower
So I got home from Menards today and Noelen had left a BIG surprise for me in his diaper (we have been working on trying to get him to potty train but not this time!). Parents... it was one of those really bad ones.... the ones that do not stay contained in the diaper... yep. Anyways, I wiped off most of it but Noelen still smelled awful so I took him downstairs to the basement bathroom to give him a shower. He has taken showers before but was resistant at first... that was until he got in. Then I think the power of a shower took over him because he stayed in there for 20 minutes (basically until I turned off the shower).
Here is how the shower went:
After about 5 minutes I asked if he wanted out. He responded quickly "No, I still have poop on my bottom". So I proceeded to wash him off... if there was any poop left on him it wasn't much...
At 10 minutes I asked if he wanted out and he gave me the same answer... apparently he figured it worked before why not use the same line again.... like a bad pick up line.
About 15 minutes into the shower I heard him calling me from the shower. I had assumed by this time he was done (that is a longer shower than I usually take). But, no. He called me in to tell me that he "needed the water hotter".... it was cooler but still I started laughing and told him he was almost done and he again gave me the "I still have poop on my bottom line". Oh well I thought... a few more minutes.
So at minute 20 I went in and turned off the shower. I could tell he was bummed and told me for the last time that he had "poop on his bottom still". I responded that "your fine" and he proceeded to get out of the shower. At that point he told me that tile floor was cold and tiptoed across the floor onto the carpet. At that point he was dried off and I put on a fresh diaper and clean clothes.
Don't long leisurely showers start when kids are teenagers? Not when they are 3? I guess that is just a sign of what is to come. It was funny though.
Here is how the shower went:
After about 5 minutes I asked if he wanted out. He responded quickly "No, I still have poop on my bottom". So I proceeded to wash him off... if there was any poop left on him it wasn't much...
At 10 minutes I asked if he wanted out and he gave me the same answer... apparently he figured it worked before why not use the same line again.... like a bad pick up line.
About 15 minutes into the shower I heard him calling me from the shower. I had assumed by this time he was done (that is a longer shower than I usually take). But, no. He called me in to tell me that he "needed the water hotter".... it was cooler but still I started laughing and told him he was almost done and he again gave me the "I still have poop on my bottom line". Oh well I thought... a few more minutes.
So at minute 20 I went in and turned off the shower. I could tell he was bummed and told me for the last time that he had "poop on his bottom still". I responded that "your fine" and he proceeded to get out of the shower. At that point he told me that tile floor was cold and tiptoed across the floor onto the carpet. At that point he was dried off and I put on a fresh diaper and clean clothes.
Don't long leisurely showers start when kids are teenagers? Not when they are 3? I guess that is just a sign of what is to come. It was funny though.
Friday, January 2, 2009
A new Year
Well, today I had an interview. Here it goes! Here comes a new year!
Everything went pretty well EXCEPT... I was having such intense stomach cramps that I though I was going to throw up in the interview and had to "go get a drink" like twice. It was embarassing.. and just seemed to be another thing in my hard times to get a job. But hey, if it meant to be it will happen. I just hope I get to the second set of interviews. (My down side will be that I own a house and can't relocate to the apartment complexes they try to reach).
Everything went pretty well EXCEPT... I was having such intense stomach cramps that I though I was going to throw up in the interview and had to "go get a drink" like twice. It was embarassing.. and just seemed to be another thing in my hard times to get a job. But hey, if it meant to be it will happen. I just hope I get to the second set of interviews. (My down side will be that I own a house and can't relocate to the apartment complexes they try to reach).
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
New Years Eve
Well, here we go here comes another year. I am glad this year is over hopefully we can have fresh start as this year was far from amazing. That being said.... I have learned so much, about myself especially. I have realized I need to change a lot of things and also through the hard times I have been forced to change a lot of things that I wouldn't have otherwise. Hopefully this year will bring a new job (I have an interview with Heights of Hope on Friday) and a better economy for the nation as a whole.
So here is my year end reflection:
I realized I stressed out a lot this year. Catie had told me I have been much more tense since my parents started having problems 4 yrs ago... that is a long time... and not healthy for me or others around me. I have realized this year that I need to work on stress. I had found peace in my life being not full of stress before and now my life has a lot more stress and I realized I really didn't have my faith in Christ taking all my worries. I had faith in my regularity, money and the things that I was able to do... I wasn't living by faith. This year I learned a little more what it means to trust God when you have no control of your life. I am still working on letting go and giving my junk to God.
My kids grew and we had my last baby this year.... Judah Joshua. He is awesome and I am actually really glad that he was the last one... just that makes me less stressed :) I love my kids though. In this year they have really grown... I have seen Noelen grown up from a baby into a little boy (weird) and Soe is now running all over the house and soon Jude will be crawling.... I love to see them grow and learn. They are amazing. They have brought their own stresses this year in their naughty times. (Noelen has gotten into medicine, mouse poison and tooth paste (yeah, he tried a bit of each... scary, but he was fine)). It has been a rough year on them but they are great. I just know they have seen and felt tons of stress around the house... next year I am making sure that is not the case.
We finished our basement this year... which is amazing considering we had no money at the time. This year the basement flooded with sewage 2-3 times and we lost a lot of stuff... especially the last time... we didn't catch it in time and it really backed up. But after cleaning up once with some good friends and the second time by myself... we called our insurance company and they replaced all of our stuff we lost....... including new carpet so now our basement is awesome.... we also replaced out main drain line to the city main line so now we won't be having sewage in our basement. YEAH! And the insurance company paid enough (because I did most of the work myself) to help us pay our mortgage when I lost my job at the church.... so God provided and I learned a lot in the process. In fact, I just finished the bathroom about a week ago... it looks pretty good... not perfect but there is no standing sewage in the shower and the floor is level and it has a sink and toilet.... so it is nice. (Actually it is the nicest bathroom in the house now... but that isn't saying too much). So being able to finish our basement and get paid for it was a big blessing. I didn't see it at the time but it was really a good thing.
The hardest part of the year was not having a job for months and months and months....
It has been stretching and defeating and horrible. My family went from paying bills to being behind and worrying about where the money was going to come from but again God provided some how. Through family and friends and random videos I've done, we have been able to make it month to month so far... honestly it is hard to believe... but in all of this I have learned so much. From humility to a real faith, it has all been stretching and continues to be stretching but I know it has been good for me. It has been necessary, in making me a stronger Christian. Helping me to actually be able to relate to other people. The people I most want to help in life.
If I could pick out one thing that I would take from the year it is the importance of community. Some one at church said that same thing on Sunday. When you have nothing, Christian community is all you have.... no things... no job but people who love you and will listen. (That is a big part of what being a Christian really is). I have learned that without true community, I am lost and lonely even with my wife and kids. I have learned that Christianity is all about community and sharing your life with one another. I have learned that I believe being in a small group in not only a good thing but a necessary thing. If you aren't in one you are probably more alone in life than you need to be and you probably aren't getting HONESTLY stretched as much as you need to be to be healthy and thriving. Don't lie to yourself, you need Christian community. I have heard excuses but they are all lame... Be open and get in a group that loves you.
well that is all for 2008..... here comes 2009
So here is my year end reflection:
I realized I stressed out a lot this year. Catie had told me I have been much more tense since my parents started having problems 4 yrs ago... that is a long time... and not healthy for me or others around me. I have realized this year that I need to work on stress. I had found peace in my life being not full of stress before and now my life has a lot more stress and I realized I really didn't have my faith in Christ taking all my worries. I had faith in my regularity, money and the things that I was able to do... I wasn't living by faith. This year I learned a little more what it means to trust God when you have no control of your life. I am still working on letting go and giving my junk to God.
My kids grew and we had my last baby this year.... Judah Joshua. He is awesome and I am actually really glad that he was the last one... just that makes me less stressed :) I love my kids though. In this year they have really grown... I have seen Noelen grown up from a baby into a little boy (weird) and Soe is now running all over the house and soon Jude will be crawling.... I love to see them grow and learn. They are amazing. They have brought their own stresses this year in their naughty times. (Noelen has gotten into medicine, mouse poison and tooth paste (yeah, he tried a bit of each... scary, but he was fine)). It has been a rough year on them but they are great. I just know they have seen and felt tons of stress around the house... next year I am making sure that is not the case.
We finished our basement this year... which is amazing considering we had no money at the time. This year the basement flooded with sewage 2-3 times and we lost a lot of stuff... especially the last time... we didn't catch it in time and it really backed up. But after cleaning up once with some good friends and the second time by myself... we called our insurance company and they replaced all of our stuff we lost....... including new carpet so now our basement is awesome.... we also replaced out main drain line to the city main line so now we won't be having sewage in our basement. YEAH! And the insurance company paid enough (because I did most of the work myself) to help us pay our mortgage when I lost my job at the church.... so God provided and I learned a lot in the process. In fact, I just finished the bathroom about a week ago... it looks pretty good... not perfect but there is no standing sewage in the shower and the floor is level and it has a sink and toilet.... so it is nice. (Actually it is the nicest bathroom in the house now... but that isn't saying too much). So being able to finish our basement and get paid for it was a big blessing. I didn't see it at the time but it was really a good thing.
The hardest part of the year was not having a job for months and months and months....
It has been stretching and defeating and horrible. My family went from paying bills to being behind and worrying about where the money was going to come from but again God provided some how. Through family and friends and random videos I've done, we have been able to make it month to month so far... honestly it is hard to believe... but in all of this I have learned so much. From humility to a real faith, it has all been stretching and continues to be stretching but I know it has been good for me. It has been necessary, in making me a stronger Christian. Helping me to actually be able to relate to other people. The people I most want to help in life.
If I could pick out one thing that I would take from the year it is the importance of community. Some one at church said that same thing on Sunday. When you have nothing, Christian community is all you have.... no things... no job but people who love you and will listen. (That is a big part of what being a Christian really is). I have learned that without true community, I am lost and lonely even with my wife and kids. I have learned that Christianity is all about community and sharing your life with one another. I have learned that I believe being in a small group in not only a good thing but a necessary thing. If you aren't in one you are probably more alone in life than you need to be and you probably aren't getting HONESTLY stretched as much as you need to be to be healthy and thriving. Don't lie to yourself, you need Christian community. I have heard excuses but they are all lame... Be open and get in a group that loves you.
well that is all for 2008..... here comes 2009
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