It been so long

It has been to long. Too too long. I just haven't felt like writing in a while. Been busy and just haven't taken the time to write.. not that I need to but it can be a good thing. Catie is out for the night (with some friends) and the kids are out for the night too (but out.. as in sleeping).


Well, God is definately at work in my life still... I feel like I am just along for the ride right now. I think I will be starting an Americorps thing very soon but I also just received an email that a Cornerstone University job I applied for about 3-4 months ago is looking at me and a couple of other people to interview. It seems every time I think I know what I am doing something else comes up... I thought I was going to be doing community/neighborhood development stuff and all of a sudden I am going to be presented with another job possibly. I honestly, need to pray hard into this because I am confused as what I should do. Americorps is my heart (community stuff).. but the money is almost nothing and Catie has been expressing interest in being home more. Which mean I want to make enough for her to be home... I don't want my kids babysat forever. I have realized in the past few months just how much a parent being home matters to kids... I want to raise my kids and instill my values in them.

So jobs/money makes a difference but that being said.. where does God want me? It is easy and pratical to calucalate that I should just take the higher paying job and let Catie stay home... but is that what God wants me to to? I know God wants Catie to stay home.. if she wants to... her heart has been changing towards that... just a desire to be home and love on her kids and family. It is different and good... I like it. But what if God wants me to take a job that will seemingly pay me nothing and then he provides much more than what I expect because that is where he wants me and I was listening and obdiant? (if people donate to the non-profit I could get paid more and that is a possibility). But what if God has bigger things for me at Cornerstone? I don't know... This is a big prayer thing. I will just pray I guess... I guess the C-stone job isn't even an offer yet anyways so no need to worry... I still have yet to get an interview I just know it maybe a good possibility.


So God, whatever you have for me I am ready (I have to tell myself that sometimes). I still am working on just jumping into the arms of God. Jobs for me have been constantly testing how much I will trust God. Like jumping out of a building and trusting that the people below you will catch you... without so much as a scratch. I just have a hard time blindly trusting God. It is a real struggle for me...


So all that being said I was thinking that I miss a lot of the church people I used to work with/hang with more often when I was at church. I miss you guys (Matt, Dave Gary). I realize I have the tendancy to be an all or nothing so either I am in it whole heartedly or no really in it at all... and it seems that can happen in some of my relationships as well. If I am working with people a lot then I talk to them a lot but if I am working on something else then sometimes I seem to forget to spend time with my friends from my last idea/job/project.

So all that being said I would love to hang out sometime! I give you a call!